The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate

this book has helped me a lot to understand vary basic issues in different types of relationships. Issues so basic that you can hardly can see and yet they are so important. It's made a difference on my key relationships...

Very insightful. Dr. Lerner offers many examples of human interaction that touch a core. Highly recommended for those who wish to improve any relationship

I was disappointed in this book. I expected to get specific cognitive behavioral techniques to change the way I react/talk when I am upset. Instead I got a bunch of stories about patients, and a bunch of stories about the author and her husband (which especially got old and are not helpful for those of us who are lonely and don't have that kind of love in our lives). Overall I didn't get too much from this book, I'm sad to say. I think I need more direct instruction rather than stories to try to illustrate things. It just wasn't for me.

Dr. Harriet Lerner's book, the Dance of Connection, refocused me on the importance of good communication. As a certified group psychotherapist and psychotherapist I think this well thought out book offers interesting examples and engaging stories to illustrate how we as people can relate more effectively when communicating with others whether family, friend or business connection. I found Dr. Lerner's words personally validating when checking on my own communication skills where I have done a good job and where to let it alone when I am trying too hard.

I recommend this wonderful book to my clients as well as Dr. Lerner's other well written books that I have read: The Dance of Intimacy, The Dance of Anger and The Dance of Deception.

Mary Jane Hurley Brant, Author of When Every Day Matters

This author, Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., was recommended to me by a friend. She thought it might help me in my sturggle to resolve a marital issue I have been having. This book did, indeed, offer valuable insights into how families interact and interconnect, from ancestral beginnings that influence us up through the generations. It helped me realize that many of my patterns of interacting with the men in my life could be traced back to my father, his father, and possibly further (if that information could be found). Unfortunately, my father passed away at age 81, two years ago this month. After reading this book I had a long conversation with my mother (now 81 and very healthy and active) about how she and her father and mother interacted as she was growing up. Though my issues turned out to be connected much more closely to my father's side of the family, it was wonderful to hear stories about my mother's life. If I had planned ahead, I definitely would have had a tape recorder ready because we will probably never be able to duplicate what was shared, that day, in the sunshine, in my lovely backyard garden, with both of us just pleasantly swinging on my swing! I HIGHLY recommend this book...even if you're not struggling with interpersonal issues (but who in the world doesn't from time to time?!). Another heavily underlined resource!!!