You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

I definitely recommend reading Dr. Tannen's "You Just Don't Understand," even if you think you know all you want to know about the differences between men and women in communication. This is a thoughtful, well-written book analyzing men and women's styles of communication through various studies and anecdotes that not only serve to teach but to also entertain. There are good dialogue conversations in the dynamics of the book and interesting to note the insightful commentary from both perspectives. It is easy to stereotype and have gender bias based on the social norms of our culture, but Tannen provides a fairly balanced view of both subjects. She gives solid support of her findings, which we can often relate to in our relationships. I found myself more intrigued as I read on about the asymmetrical connections between the genders.
For couples, this book may provide a lot of useful suggestions that could improve to open communication. I did not find this book to really skew personal bias favoring either gender. Instead, it reveals the reality that while men and women use different "conversational styles" of achieving the same means, each are important tactics to recognize. After finishing the reading, I feel much more enlightened about the importance of strategizing my listening and conversing skills.

This is a great book and a must read. I will be keeping it as a reference and I only keep about 1 of 10 books that I buy as such. Even though this book was first published a generation ago it still applies today. I no longer become upset by what I saw as mens lack of caring- though now I feel that its a little hopeless and a fight not worth figting. This book is very detailed- sometimes too much so. I am only half way through and have already learned alot (be warned that its the type of book you need to read in chunks in order to absorb the specifities of what is being stated) but have skipped about 1/4th of the pages because many pages are just filled with examples that support the same idea. Some of these examples also seem a little extreme- tilting towards one side of the pendulum- being I recognize the actions and reactions stated in the males I know today but to the extreme stated in some of these examples I would simply see these men as ******* yet this might well be a difference caused by varying generations. The men described in a book are atleast 1 generation above mine and I am of the generation born after the Womens Rights Era therefore since birth my generation of males has seen females in a much more leveled position and this probably affects their communication with these. Even with its deficits the insights found here is still worth a 5.

This is a great book for couples who are having communication problems. It explains the difference in conversational style used by men vs. women. (Women vent -- men offer unwanted solutions.)

I was looking to understand why it was so hard to get my point across to my partner and picked up this book. I was pleased and surprised to find that this book went so much further than the typical relationship communication book. It was a HUGE help.

i received this book as a gift years ago. i read it and found it to be fascinating as well as enlightening. men and women really do communicate in different ways, and what you "heard" may not be what was actually "said."
now i've bought this book as a gift for someone else. read this book, and share it.