Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High

I think the skills taught in Crucial Conversations are pertinent to everyone who needs to communicate better, and the light-hearted, engaging tone the authors use gets their points across clearly. By breaking down the tactful steps that must be taken along the way to a successful dialogue, the authors help us to develop better strategies for getting what we want.

We all face situations in life where things are tense and saying the right things is critical. This is what the authors call a "crucial conversation," as opposed to a casual discussion. Crucial conversations happen between two or more people when opinions vary, stakes are high, and emotions run strong. Whether you are approaching a boss who is breaking his or her own policies, giving feedback on a colleague's work, or talking to a team member who isn't keeping commitments, keeping the conversation productive can be very difficult.

The main technique the authors teach is the talent of dialogue. This is the free flow of meaning between two or more people. People who use this technique are able to find a way to get all relevant information from themselves and others out in the open and make it safe for everyone to add their meaning to the shared pool. These people try hard to ensure that all ideas find their way into the forum; and as this "pool of shared meaning" grows, it helps people by exposing them to more accurate and relevant information so they can make better decisions.

The book also offers a series of tools for understanding how we think about and prepare for problem situations. They posit that people must learn the skills of talking, listening and acting together, and must remember that successful dialogue, "Starts with heart." They suggest you begin high-risk discussions with the right motives, and then stay focused no matter what happens by knowing what you want. Never lose sight of the fact that the only person you can directly control is yourself. To stay focused on what you really want, pay attention to your motives whenever you find yourself moving toward silence or violence. Clarifying what you don't want will help you find healthy options to bring you to dialogue.

Since dialogue calls for a free flow of meaning, fear can kill the flow of meaning. Much of the book is focused on watching for negative emotions, like fear, that can derail a conversation. Since the book is about recognizing and navigating crucial conversations, it doesn't do much to help you learn to manage your emotions and the emotions of other people to keep a conversation on track.

I just came across a new book that teaches you how to manage your emotions, as well as read and manage other people's emotions, and it's the perfect companion to CC. It's called: Emotional Intelligence 2.0

I heard one of the speakers, and knew that I needed to purchase this book to help with dealing with this type of situation. Great tool for any leader.

This book should be required for anyone who is in a management type position. I read the book a little over a year ago - marking many pages. It has remained on my desk. After reading I put many of the suggestions in to practice. I was recently told that I really know how to handle "Crucial Conversations" in some very touchy situations. After that discussion I decided to read the book again - yes there was more to learn. Great read with some very useful information. @projectguy (Twitter)

Product arrived timely and in condition stated. I would buy from this seller again.

This is an exceptionally savvy and helpful book. I suspect it will make a difference in the lives of many readers.