Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most

I had to fire someone. I read this book. It made having the conversation easier and more civil.

This book offers incredibly helpful information about dealing with those conversations we all dread having--the ones that are typically the most important and potentially life-altering. The authors were part of the Harvard Negotiation Project(and helped with the Iran Hostage Crisis, among other major negotiations). I found this to be the most helpful, insightful, and cogent presentation of how we screw up the very conversations in which we want to be at our best--and how to overcome our tendency to be operating from our reptilian brain during our body's physiological "fight or flight" response to stress. This hit home for me in so many areas. I have a degree in psychology (with an emphasis on neuropsych),and an MBA, and over 25 years professional sales experience. I have been through many communications trainings, and I have read most of the books of this ilk out there, including Getting to Yes and Crucial Conversations, which are both excellent books as well. I highly recommend this book.

In Difficult Conversations, the authors Stone, Patton and Heen set out to de-mystify the problems we get into in our daily conversations.

I found this book both enlightening and difficult. Enlightening because of the simple concepts and principles one should adopt when handling difficult conversations. For example, classifying all conversations into:
* The "What Happened ?" Conversation
* The Feelings Conversation
* The Identity Conversation

All of these made sense and will be very useful for me from now on. There were also plenty of examples to illustrate. And that's where I found this book difficult. For me, there were too many examples and sub sections of sub sections - I had to go back a number of times to make the various connections.

Having said that, conversations are a difficult topic to write about. Once a spoken sentence is put onto a page, it can be interpreted in a number of ways. I would have liked to have seen more "big picture" frameworks and diagrams to keep me on track and connected to the author's current point or topic.

Recommended for serious students of communication.

Bob Selden, author What To Do When You Become The Boss: How new managers become successful managers

This book is well written, easy to read, and full of very good, "real life" examples. Many of the concepts presented seem like common sense... yet at the same time they generate "ah ha" moments. Personally, I think this book could be life altering if put into practice- both professionally and personally.

Excellent recommendations on how to communicate effectively with anyone you care about or work with.