Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most

Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heedn
is so practical and readable I purchased a copy for each person in a
communication skills training program I provided recently.

Just because we speak, write, e-mail, or tweet, we think we've
communicated effectively. But all we've done is catapult words into
the stratosphere. According to Difficult Conversations, for every conversation there are
actually three conversations going on for each person.

Unless all these conversations are brought out in the open,
misunderstandings rule.

Difficult Conversations provides a template,
a step-by-step system for approaching those tough conversations we all
have - or avoid having.

Difficult Conversations urges the reader to go from delivering
information during a conflict to taking a curious, learning stance.
Instead of blaming and defending yourself, explore the other person's
experience. Try to learn more about what went on and what's going on.
Until you each understand the three conversations, you can't move
forward.

You'll read Difficult Conversations more than once. Every page will
be dog-eared and highlighted profusely. It may be an overstatement,
but only slightly, to say you won't want to leave home without this
power-packed volume.

Everyone has to have difficult conversations and this book can help make them more effective and less painful. This research-based approach is entirely practical and useful. The techniques can be used in a variety of situations. Like all skills, it still requires practice to do it well, but this book is a good place to learn the methods.

Everyone should have this book in their personal library. Whether its difficult issues at the job, within friendships or relationships, Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most will assist in your approach to resolving those critical issues in your life: great book.

I have the audio version. While I like the message of the book, the audio cd needs work. The speakers are boring speakers and hard to keep interested in listening. There's like 2 male voices and 1-2 female voices. Keeps jumping around.

I got this book from the library on the recommendation of a friend, but I'm now buying a copy to keep as a reference. This slim volume has completely changed my attitude toward difficult conversations--and as a shy, sensitive type most conversations are difficult for me--by revealing what is really going on beneath the surface: our investment in "being right," our denial of the impact of feelings, and most interestingly, the fact that what's often at stake is our own idea of ourselves as a "good" person. A few reviewers have criticized the book for going into too much detail, but I found it all extremely helpful. When you're trying to undo years and years of bad habits, defensiveness and misperceptions, it's essential to work through it step by step. I wish I'd read this book a long time ago, but I'm definitely going to discuss these topics with my kids and maybe save them a lot of difficulty in their lives. Highly recommended.