How to Say It For Women: Communicating with Confidence and Power Using the Language of Success

I read about this book - actually, I consider it a textbook - when searching for tools on expanding my career. I usually wouldn't buy something like this, and instead look for similar information from free 'Net sources. But on a whim, I bought it, and am so glad I did. I'm not even halfway through and what I've learned already has helped me to speak and express myself in a way that gets people's attention, and has improved my professional image. One of the best tips, which comes early in the book, is catching myself using the "I think/like/don't like" phrase when I want to discuss facts. I do it, so I don't look like a know-it-all. Dr. Mindell, however, shows several ways to express facts without appearing as though I have all the answers.

The author also cites common grammar and language mistakes that keep women in the background, and prevent us from asserting our strengths and skills. The concept of Weak Language is especially intriguing; in reviewing the examples, I saw myself in almost every one. Her solutions are very attainable, but she strongly recommends practicing this new language with another woman. I have, and my women friends were amazed at how powerful this "new" language sounds.

These are hard habits to break, but with the tips and examples in this book, I'm getting better at it. And I can see the difference in how others treat me; more importantly, I feel different about myself. The book is really a life-changing experience, for someone who has never really put much thought into my "image" but is continually frustrated at not getting the positive attention for my work success as I believe I deserve. Thank you Dr. Mindell!

The lights go down. The speaker strides confidently towards the podium, pauses and makes eye contact with the audience. And from the very first moment you know, instinctively, that it's going to be an excellent presentation. An experience like this reinforces your desire to create your own unique aura of self-confidence. What can you do to make this happen?

One thing you can do, right away, is to get a copy of Dr. Phyllis Mindell's book, How to Say It for Executives: The Complete Guide to Communication for Leaders. It's an excellent guide for acquiring and practicing the communication skills you'll need to get ahead and stay there, complete with exercises, charts, lists, examples, and a simple format that makes it all easy to digest.

Primary among those skills is something obvious but often overlooked: listening. When you pay close attention when others are talking, instead of interrupting or jumping to conclusions without hearing the entire story, it will be noticed and appreciated. Of course, a favorite chapter for us here at the library is "Reading Like a Leader," in which the author doesn't tell what to read, but rather how to read - both speedily and deeply - in ways that will build skills in analysis, synthesis, and argument. A chapter on nonverbal leadership breaks down the powerful code spoken by gesture, dress, and body placement.

Preparing a presentation is the centerpiece of How To Say It For Executives, and Dr. Mindell meticulously lays out each step of the process. Before you begin, gather some information about the audience. The speech should be written out, using an absolute minimum of sentences that begin with "I", and rehearsed. The most objective way to find out how you really look and sound in front of an audience is to videotape the speech. After viewing it, turn off the sound and watch it again. Now that you know where improvement is needed, complete the assignments in each chapter that target problems commonly faced by public speakers.

You never know when hostile or difficult people will be in the audience. One individual can spoil an entire presentation by monopolizing the floor or asking inappropriate questions. The author offers several techniques for tactfully handling a variety of problems and disruptions that can occur in an open forum.

Perhaps the most valuable lesson in How to Say It for Executives is this: Make a concerted effort to stop using weak words like "I feel", "sort of", "I guess" and "I think" in everyday conversations as well as presentations. Instead of coming across as tentative and unsure, practice substituting phrases that will make your sentences strong and persuasive. Although the advice in this book is directed primarily to those in leadership positions, anyone but a hermit will find life is made much easier by becoming a better communicator

I bought this book at a womens' leadership conference a couple of years ago. I read it cover-to-cover and decided to try the skills covered when communicating in my office. My supervisors' opinions of me changed drastically - they began to view me as surly and defiant. I didn't think any of the verbage alternatives were rude, but in the organization where I was working, the higher-ups expected you to consider them omnipotent and not have an opinion of your own. Ultimately one should consider their audience and adjust their language accordingly.

I am using this book as a reference for my students in a business english course in Japan. Although the students find reading it cover to cover a bit too much (lower intermediate English level) when I point out specific points and pages I want them to read and understand, they really get a lot out of it. The book is written well and ideas are developed and backed up clearly. I would recommend this to any teachers of women students.

I can't recommend this book highly enough. As a leadership coach in Silicon valley I often help women managers and executives to become better leaders, and this book speaks directly to two of the biggest roadblocks to women's advancement: communication and confidence. These women are shocked at how closely Mindell understands their work challenges. The book takes highly volatile, challenging workplace situations and offers suggestions that immediately actionable.