French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France

Reading this book gives one the sense of immersion into the French environment and culture. This piece of work can not only be intersting as a book, but handy and practical being a foreigner's manual for survival. Even if you don't go to France, it would still be a great source for widening your cultural horizons. Definitely recommend it.

Many French expressed their frustrations with the stereotypes about the French that Ms. Platt puts forth in her book(s) so I won't go over that end of things.

My beef was with how she portrayed Americans--as a general mass of bumbling, ignorant oafs (allowing herself multiple opportunities to demonstrate how superior and culturally competent she was over the majority of her fellow countrymen.) As someone whose job it was to bridge the divide between cultures rather than widen it, I was shocked to see her carelessly throw out cliche after cliche about Americans: makes me wonder what bs she was telling all of the French executives who were taking her classes. The chapter where she discusses the difference in parenting was particularly insulting--she mentions in one example that it is common for American children to simply waltz into the homes of their host, even those that they don't know on a familiar level, open the fridge and help themselves! I would have been instantly punished had I done this growing up, nor would I allow my own child to do this. I think the majority of individuals in the US would consider helping yourself to the contents of someone's fridge as poor manners (unless you were invited to do so or were on very close terms of friendship). She ends her chapter on parenting with a sad vignette about a French family who spent an extended time in the US while the father was on a work assignment. In this vignette, Ms. Platt illustrates how the American culture the French family's teenaged daughters absorbed from their brief stay in the United States resulted in a series of devastating maladies upon their return to France, including a suicide attempt, terrible grades and and a poor marriage decision. One of the horrible sins the teenagers picked up in the United States that led to their demise? Talking back to their parents. I am not denying that talking-back is a nasty habit that a French parent might find dismaying, but I can hardly believe that the teenagers' admiration of adolescent American sass started the snowball of maladies that happened upon their return to France.

Her most recent book about French relationships--When Herve Meets Sally-- was worse. She begins the book with a story about a newly-arrived American who arrived at a dinner party so naive and ignorant that she goes on and on to her embarrassed host about how much their geographically-desirable apartment must cost, characterizing this woman's poor behavior as as typical American manners. I would venture to say that anyone with a modicum of manners would practice a bit more tact that this crass dinner guest and it frustrates me that she used this antidote as another cliche example of typical, offensive American behavior. I won't even go there about how she basically defends philandering men in that book--its insulting to everyone--French men (a majority who don't cheat) and French and American women.

As someone married to a French citizen, I will say that some topics in her book were at least someone accurate--the information about the grands ecoles and the respect of the engineering profession, the description of French dinner parties, the 10 magic words, the reluctance to use the bathroom in public quite as often as we do, privacy (particularly as it relates to closing of doors)...

If you're looking for a very good book about French culture without such blatant stereotypes, try reading Sixty Million Frenchmen Can't Be Wrong by Jean-Benoit Nadeau and Julie Barlow, a Canadian couple. It is excellent.

We, KeraVision, Inc. (KVI), placed our European headquarters in a suburb just south of Paris. I was very familiar with France, having made over 200 business trips to France prior to becoming CEO at KVI. But... the rest of my team had spent little time outside the US and had some difficulty understanding the "French way(s)."

Fortunately, another international executive alerted me to Polly Platt's "French or Foe." Platt's love affair with France began at age 8 when her parents placed her in a chateau to learn French. Later she married UNESCO Official Alexander Grchich Dalyac von Cvetkovacz and settled in Paris with her family. "French or Foe" is an outgrowth of Platt becoming distressed at "French-bashing" by Americans in Paris. She then founded Culture Crossings which provided cultural adaptation seminars for foreigners, primarily executives from major US companies.

The book provides great insights into the business, social, and cultural complexities of French culture. Over 200,000 copies are in print and is in its third edition and 13th reprint! This is a must read for anyone who plans to live and/or work in France. I made this mandatory reading for all KVI executives and professionals who were directly involved in our French operation. It served as great guide in navigating the subtleties of creating good working relationships.

My son who has lived and worked in France for 16 years recommended this read for me. I think he would like me to move to France to be near him and my grand children. I'm not likely to do that but it is an interesting book that also helps with understanding the French way of life for my visits there.

French or Foe?: Getting the Most Out of Visiting, Living and Working in France

Even though I never received my book because I'm guessing that it got lost in the mail, I received my refund after I waited for the product for 30 days and the customer service was wonderful. They were very courteous, quick to respond to my emails and even offered to send the book again with no shipping charges. They did everything in their power to make my experience with their company good, unfortunately the post office did not do their part of delivering the item.