The Gift of Fear: And Other Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

Women and men alike should read this book. Gavin de Becker gives names and numbers to the alarm bells women too often ignore, and helps lay out some of the differences between the sexes' experiences of their surroundings. When I first encountered this book, as an excerpt in a magazine, I photocopied it for my coworkers to read. Only two people voiced negative reactions to it. One was my then-boyfriend, who turned out to be an obsessive, overbearing manipulater fueled by insecurity. The other one - believe it or not - wound up stalking me for months.

I got him to stop by following Mr. de Becker's advice.

I FIRS SAW THE AUTHOR ON OPRAH'S SHOW. I THEN CHECKED THE BOOK OUT AT THE LIBRARY. AFTER JUST READING A FEW PAGES I KNEW I WANTED IT FOR MYSELF. I ORDERED IT AND GOT THE CD'S, BUT I STILL WANT THE BOOK. I ALSO ORDERED "PROTECTING THE GIFT" KEEPING CHILDREN AND TEENAGERS SAFE (AND PARENTS SANE) BY THE SAME AUTHOR. IT STATES ON THE COVER, 1.SAFETY SKILLS FOR CHILDREN OUTSIDE THE HOME 2. WARNING SIGNS OF SEXUAL ABUSE 3. HOW TO SCREEN BABY-SITTERSAND CHOOSE SCHOOLS 4. STRATEGIES FOR KEEPING TEENAGERS FROM VIOLENCE. CAN'T WAIT TO FINISH READING IT.

I think this book had a lot of insight into remembering how to use our instincts. The author does talk about himself a lot and that part gets pretty boring. I found that basically the second CD is all you need and CDs 1 and 3 are basically just fluff. But besides that, i really did enjoy CD 2 and i am glad i purchased it.

I heard Mr. DeBecker speak on Oprah about how we have built in signals that cue us and help keep us from danger, if we allow them, and that fear is a gift. It was interesting and I wanted to know more. In listening to him and now the CDs, I recognize that there are times I know, just know that I should avoid something but because I don't want to make someone else feel bad, I will go with it anyway. I bought the tapes because I wanted to hear them in detail and I wanted to give myself permission to love and care enough about myself to keep myself safe. I also want to develop my inner sense and not be so busy that I don't pay attention. If I am in error about the other person or event then I can apologize later. Keeping yourself and your family safe is the most important key. I am glad I bought it and would highly recommend The Gift of Fear, it made sense.

I chose to get this on audio because I have a better chance of getting through it while in the car. The audio is a little off, sounds kind of as if I was listening to audio cassette instead of cd but it was fine. I love how he covers the important parts, though I wouldn't mind having the book as well. The good thing about having it on audio is that I will probably listen to it again (my kid's tantrums prevented me from paying attention the whole time). He explains things in a very simple way so that you don't get lost in wording and can really grasp his message. A lot of the things he mentions sounds like common sense but when you're in that situation it's easy to get off-track, next thing you know you aren't listening to yourself and you become a victim. I also liked how he doesn't make you scared to leave your house, he just allows you to be aware, proactive about your own safety. It's excellent and women of all ages should read it...or listen to it.