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Fear and Other Uninvited Guests : Tackling the Anxiety, Fear, and Shame That Keep Us from Optimal Living and Loving

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By: Harriet Lerner and Lerner Harriet
(27 customer reviews)
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EDITORIAL REVIEW



Unhappiness, says bestselling author Harriet Lerner, is fueled by three key emotions: anxiety, fear, and shame. They are the uninvited guests in our lives. When tragedy or hardship hits, they may become our constant companions.



Anxiety can wash over us like a tidal wave or operate as a silent thrum under the surface of our daily lives. With stories that are sometimes hilarious and sometimes heartbreaking, Lerner takes us from "fear lite" to the most difficult lessons the universe sends us. We learn:

  • how a man was "cured in a day" of the fear of rejection -- and what we can learn from his story

  • how the author overcame her dread of public speaking when her worst fears were realized

  • how to deal with the fear of not being good enough, and with the shame of feeling essentially flawed and inadequate

  • how to stay calm and clear in an anxious, crazy workplace

  • how to manage fear and despair when life sends a crash course in illness, vulnerability, and loss

  • how "positive thinking" helps -- and harms

  • how to be our best and bravest selves, even when we are terrified and have internalized the shaming messages of others


No one signs up for anxiety, fear, and shame, but we can’t avoid them either. As we learn to respond to these three key emotions in new ways, we can live more fully in the present and move into the future with courage, clarity, humor, and hope. Fear and Other Uninvited Guests shows us how.

PRODUCT DETAILS

Pub. Date: 1st May 2004
Catalog: Book
Media: Hardcover
Format: Bargain Price
Number Of Pages: 256

ABOUT THIS BOOK

USER REVIEWS

this lady was inside my head when she wrote this book
~ Written on Jun 17, 2008. out of users found this review helpful.

I loved this book because Lerner doesn't try to bash you over the head with her techniques but offers real-world advice that isn't patronizing, twelve steps or cookie-cutter. She acknowledges that you are entitled to your feelings and that those feelings are never going to go away. Like all of her books, she talks in a soothing, conversational voice. After reading this book, just the knowledge that someone knows what you are going through but doesn't always know the answer was a small amount of comfort. The main point of the books is that best way to deal with feelings of fear, shame and anxiety is to acknowledge them.

Fear And Other Uninvited Guests
~ Written on Jun 8, 2008. out of users found this review helpful.

After having read Harriet Lerner's Dance of Anger, I ordered several of her other books, including this one. While it was very good, I got a lot more out of Dance of Anger. But I would still recommend this book to anyone who is experiencing anxiety and especially shame.

Great read!
~ Written on Apr 7, 2008. out of users found this review helpful.

This is a great book...all of Harriet Lerner's books are great. If you are looking for advice on how to not let fear take over opportunity in your life, this book will give you a great start.

good solid Harriet Lerner
~ Written on Jun 14, 2007. out of users found this review helpful.

I read this book after having read The Dance of Intimacy several months ago. The Dance of Intimacy was like a huge wake-up call for me, whereas this book was very interesting and helpful, just not as earth-shattering. I am generally an anxious person, and I did learn a little bit about living with my anxiety and not making it worse. But I didn't connect with all the stories the way I did with the previous Lerner book I read. I still think Harriet Lerner is an amazing insightful woman. I'm glad that I read and bought this book, but maybe my expectations were a little too high. I would give the book 3 1/2 stars if I could.

Very Good
~ Written on Jan 29, 2007. 1 out of 1 users found this review helpful.

Great book and good way to understand how to manage your anxieties and fears. This book will not make your fears go away, but rather enable you to work with them. A pratical approach.

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