There Are Two Essays Here.. Both 5 Pages =( Sorry... If You Have The Time And Can Only Proofread One That Is Great As Well! All Responses Are Welcome =)
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All Eyes On Me
Fucking faggot… weirdo…. gothic freak…. I hear the jocks say as they bashed my face into my locker. I still had the bike ride home to face, as all the kids threw rocks at me. Years of being rejected but I had never found that way out, that escape that I was looking for. What made me so different from the rest? They call me strange because I wear my trench coats, because I wasn’t athletic and wore black clothes on an everyday basis. I thought hard as I wrote in my diary. "We want to be different. We want to be strange and we don't want jocks or other people putting (us) down. ... We're going to punish you. I hate you people for leaving me out of so many fun things, I wrote. You people had my phone number, and I asked and all, but no no no no no don't let the weird looking Eric kid come along.""Sometime in April me and V (Klebold) will get revenge and will kick natural selection up a few notches." I wanted to seek revenge for all the humiliation I had dealt with for years and years. I just felt so excluded by other kids and frustrated with women.
As I thought harder, I knew exactly how it was going to happen. It all clicked. “It’ll be like the LA riots, the Oklahoma bombing, WWII, Vietnam, Duke and Doom [the video games] all mixed together. ….. I want to leave a lasting impression on the world,” I wrote. That was my decision. What better way to seek revenge then go on a murder rampage at my school. I will teach them all. It seemed to good to be true. I needed plans
like a blueprint, but only for a massacre. I got more excited as I thought about it. I wrote more and more. “Me and V will park our cars in the school parking lot, walk into the cafeteria during lunch wearing black army pants, carrying bags filled with bombs and guns. If anyone asks, I will say its all for a science/band/English project or something. If me and V survive, I will try to escape to a foreign country of some type where I can not be extradited. If there isn’t such a place then we will hijack a hell of a lot of bombs and crash a plane into NYC with us inside firing away as we go down, just something to cause more devastation.” I was going for the big kill, and more than likely a suicide attack to coincide with the great Adolph Hitler’s birthday. What better day then April 20th I thought. “I just want a firearm that can hold lots of bullets and that wont jam on me. So ill need lots of clips too. Ill have those strapped onto my chest.” I planned out the attack weeks before. I drew my blueprints that I thought over very carefully as to when and where these attacks where going to take place. I monitored the cafeteria to find out that 11 o’clock was the busiest time, yet alone the best to seek out my revenge.
The days on my calendar passed by slowly. I just wanted to date to come. I spoke to a friend about what I had finally accomplished, and he decided to email a letter for me
to the police after the massacre had taken place. I needed to add more fear to the people
who survived. “By now it is over,” I wrote, “if you are reading this my mission is complete. I have finished revolutionizing the neoeuphoric infliction of my internal terror. Your children who have ridiculed me, who have chosen not to accept me, who have treated me like I am not worth their time are dead. They are…. Dead. Surely, you will try to blame it on the clothes I wear, the music I listen to, or the way I choose to present
myself - but no. Do not hide behind my choices. You need to face the fact that this comes as a result of your choices. Parents and teachers, you fucked up. You have taught these kids to be gears and sheep. To think and act like those who came before them, to not accept what is different. You are in the wrong. I may have taken their lives and my own - but it was your doing. Teachers, parents, let this be a massacre on your shoulders until the day you die. Am I insane? Maybe. It it my fault? No. I did not choose this life, but I have indeed chosen to exit it. You may think the horror ends with the bullet in my head - but you wouldn’t be so lucky. All that I can leave you to decipher what more extensive death is to come is “12SKIZTO.“ You have until April 26th. Goodbye.” I never told anyone, yet alone my friend the purpose of the word “12SKIZTO”. I will leave that for all of you to wonder. All this because of rejection I thought, but I could not change my mind now; Tomorrow was the day. I glared down the side of my shotgun. Nothing more beautiful then serial numbers. A232432, numbers that I could memorize for years and years. These would be the numbers of my revenge, my humiliation I had dealt with for so long.
As I woke to see the sun rising, I knew it was my time to shine as well. This would be the glorious day, perhaps my last. However, people will finally know who I am and fear me. They will not dare reject me or what I tell them to do. I looked around at the scenery around me, accepting that this would more than likely be the last time I saw it if things did not go as planned. It was 11 o’clock. As I arrived at the entrance of the cafeteria, I knew that my friend V was parked at the exit. We had the cafeteria surrounded. As we prepared for our grand entrance, I saw a familiar face; The guy that always stood up for me. I warned him, as clearly as I could. Get as far away from here as you can. I walked into the
cafeteria with a smile from ear to ear, carrying my duffel bags which concealed my 20-pound propane bombs time to explode at 11:17. I placed the bags on the floor beside two lunch tables and walked back to my car. “When the bomb exploded, any possible survivors I will shoot as they run out,” I thought.
“FUCK!” I yelled, as the bombs did not detonate properly. I felt more rejected, yet alone more of a failure. If I wanted to seek revenge, I had to do it the right way; Face to face. I yelled to V, “GO GO!” We simultaneously pulled our shotguns out of our backpacks and rushed the cafeteria. One shot after another, as I watched the bullies of my life fall like dominos. It was great. It was always what I wanted to do deep down inside. Who would be the popular one now? Me of course. No more jocks names in the newspapers. It would be me and V’s face on the front page, and more than likely news stations as well. I was no longer the reject. The more I looked around, the more I realized that so many people had rejected me throughout my life. I felt as if there was too little ammo, for the amount of damage and pain I wanted to inflict upon the rest. Flashbacks of Sean and Daniel smashing me into my locker as I watched them plummet to the ground in their puddle of blood. Kids that once deceived me begging me for their lives, pleading for forgiveness. I was the center of attention.
I made my way from the cafeteria to the library. I loved the feeling that I was actually in control. People were paying attention to me and only me. As I made my way to the library, I shot several more running in fear. I made eye contact, so they knew exactly who I was and why this was happening. Perhaps if they had it to do over again they would have called me. Suddenly people where searching for my number and trying to remember
what my name was but indeed it was to late. Teachers ran out screaming my name, thinking that it was all some type of joke as I blew out the window right next to their head. They tried to flee but nobody was escaping me this time. Were they happy now? Was this the devastation that they all where hoping for? As I arrived in the Library, to my dismay everyone was already on the floor. "Everyone with a white cap or baseball cap, stand up!" and "All jocks stand up! We'll get the guys in white hats, Fine, I'll start shooting!" I yelled as loud as I could but no one listened. This frustrated me even more. The first person I saw I shot in the head, watching the blood splash against the girls face next to him. I saw Cassie, thinking that she was invisible hiding behind the computer desk. “Peek-a-boo” I said, as I shot her in the back of her neck. The gun slung back breaking my nose. Bernall was crying on the floor next to me. “Do you believe in God” I asked. Her explanation was of course. As I cocked the shotgun I asked her again. “Do you still believe in your God.” Yes she exclaimed. I shot her point blank. “How dare you reject my opinion. She was supposed to say NO,” I thought.
This was not the way that I had it all planned out. They were supposed to be the rejects not me. As me and V looked each other in the eyes, I knew that he was thinking the same thing. They were supposed to beg for their lives. “Is there any way to deal with rejection other than death,” I asked myself. “Am I really that insane.” Screams and cries came from around the room but all I could hear was their laughter, the humiliation. I knew that there was no escape. Even if I was to escape to the foreign country as planned, I would still face humiliation and rejection. I must take my own life to end it all. I trembled
as I looked around me with the barrel of my rifle aimed down my throat. This was the only way. *Gunshot*