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What's the different between "Not until he had arrived home ... " and "until he had arrived home ..."?
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The first one is used; the other one isn't. Thus, it is not an apt comparison.
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If we say
"I'll stay here until 9:00 pm." --- The action (stay) will continue to 9:00 pm
"I'll stay here not until 9:00 pm" --- The action (stay) will not continue to 9:00 pm
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The second one is not used. You might say, "I won't stay here until 9:00pm" with the same meaning.
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So how to explain "not until he had arrived home did he find he had left ..."?
Why did he already get home and inside the house?
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Althoiugh the item was at the restaurant during the entire drive home, it was not until (not before) he arrived at the house that he remembered leaving it there. (Did I explain that adequately?)
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The action (he find he had left the item at the restaurant) will not continue to he had arrived home.
So before he arrived home, he should know he left sth at the restaurant ?
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The action (remembering that he had left the item at the restaurant) happens after he arrives at his house. The item was at the restaurant the whole time, but he didn't remember it before then. The remembering happened after he got home.
:)