You need to simplify your sentences. You need to make sure each sentence has both a subject and a verb. You need to avoid using idiosyncratic language.
Quote:
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Two women from different background, different accomplishments, but yet also similar in many ways.
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That sentence lacks both a subject and a verb. Perhaps:
- They were two women who were from very dissimilar backgrounds, yet they were like each other in many ways.
Quote:
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Two well-known women who believed in giving love, who thought in kindness of people, who believed in what they stood for.
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That also lacks both a subject and a verb and thus is not a sentence. Additionally, you don't need to continue to mention that they were women. Certainly, you don't need to do so in every sentence. Perhaps:
- They were sincere, compassionate, and caring.
Simpler is usually better.
Quote:
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Those were the qualities that made these two women stand out in history as caring, respectful, sincere, considerate, and mostly loving and understanding.
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Is it their personal qualities that made them memorable or is it what they did that made them memorable? You can't use
mostly loving and understanding.
Quote:
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Those two well-known women are no other than Mother Teresa, and Maria Montessori. Who put all their hard work, their life in serving those who needed it.
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You need to combine those two sentences into one. (The phrase is
none other than.) Perhaps:
- Those two women were Mother Teresa and Maria Montessori.
Considering the suggestions made by Tdol and me, how would you revise the second paragraph?