Second paragraph:
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Seeing these two pictures, some thoughts came to my mind. With the development of society, teenagers have better condition to grow up than ever before.
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- Seeing these two pictures, some thoughts came to my mind. With the development of society, teenagers have better conditions to grow up in than ever before.
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In China, parents used to made all the important decisions for their children, and they have solved most of the problems came to their kids.
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That first part is fine, but you need to do something with the second part.
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So, naturally, people will ask such a question: When one day, children facing some difficulties and they have to solve all the problems of their own, could they do a well job?
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You need to revise that somewhat. Try: "So, naturally, people will ask themselves...." Say:
solve all their own problems;
good job.
:)
Third paragraph:
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Therefore, it is imperative for us to take some measures. First of all, parents should give authority to children to make their own decisions. In my opinion, parents should say: “You can do it yourself.” other than: “You can do it in this way.” Secondly, to the teenagers, they should practice to solve some significant things of their own. From my point of view, things would be better if both the parents and teenagers can do these two points.
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See if you can find a way to improve on that.
:)