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Old 28-Sep-2006, 17:16
Coffa Coffa is offline
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Default Re: business letter ( grmmar check)

Quote:
Originally Posted by bosun View Post
Hello!
If you find any mistakes, could you please correct them ?
1.My name is XX and my English name is XX.
2,I work for Quality Assurance Team of LS Industrial Systems.
3.My main job is to make documents for acquiring the certificate of ISO or other international shipping association like DNV, LR, and BV.
4. And I am in chare of progress projects to improve the product's quality.
I always appreciate your great assistance.
1. This is OK. I assume it means you have a Korean name, and also an alternative name, which is more anglicized.

2. "I work for THE Quality Assurance Team..."

3. If I might make a comment about context, I initially read ISO in the sentence as meaning International Standards Organization (as in ISO 9000 Certificate), but it presumably means International Shipping Organization, given the context of the second phrase. You should spell out acronyms unless you know your audience will understand them.

"My main job is the production of documents necessary for acquiring the ISO certificate, or that of another international shipping organization, such as the DNV, LR, or BV."

4. Do not start sentences with a conjunction like 'and'.

"I am also in charge of progressing projects that will improve the quality of the product."

The Saxon genitive here is not wrong, but it sounds less formal to my ear. I would not use it this way in a business context, but others may disagree.
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