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Old 30-Nov-2003, 15:02
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RonBee RonBee is offline
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Default Re: Some feedback please

Quote:
Originally Posted by abrilsp
Kevin, today is a very important day for you. I understand that you are a bit worried about going to school today.
That is good, but you will need to simplify the next sentence.

Quote:
Originally Posted by abrilsp
I know how you feel; it is the very first day of you going to a place where you do not know what to expect.
You need to simplify that. Try:
  • I know how you feel. You have never been to school before, and you don't know what to expect.

More later.

:)
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