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Old 22-Nov-2006, 17:17
jimmy jimmy is offline
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Default Re: help please!correct my poem,thanks./A Question to Answer

Thank you very much and there is a rewriting here:
A Question to Answer

Shining the Star,
Floating the Moon in the dark sky,
Breeze’s stirring up your silky hair,
We’re under the Moon,
Everything goes well,
And how wonderful the past is!
Why couldn’t I travel into the past?

When the Moon fell into the earth,
The dark is closed in,
How depressing it is!
Shining still the Sun,
But something unexpected happened,
What an anguished memory we got!
Why couldn’t I change it, the past?

Now, the sun hangs in the blue sky,
The fly-writing is my wishes to you,
I sit by the lake, lost in thought,
The twigs wave softly underwater,
Even, the carps come in groups for greeting.

Everything goes well,
And I’m so real, as I always am.
Girl, give me your hand, please?

We can sing,
We can ride,
We can dance in the sky.
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