 Re: Studying Abroad
Score? I think the best way that I give you my opinion.
- The first paragraph, your introduction is very good, and the main ideas are very clear "studying abroad is a good option but there are many advantages and disadvantages of it", but technical writing, especially "studying abroad " that I am not sure.
I may bring up another option: "In my opinion, studying abroad is a good option but there are many advantages and disadvantages of it." In my opinion, when I study abroad, I have many advantages and disadvantages = In my opinion, studying abroad, I have many advantages and disadvantages.
You know when I rewrite your essay that doen't mean you are wrong, but I would like to bring up another opinion in learnning English, and whatever it is, you should judge yourself.
The second paragraph, you support your main idea "manyadvantages", but your details were so weak "we've to do everything ourselves" What did you do when you live without your parents? (you go to grocery store, cook, wash, and else . . .)
The parts of speech is not clear: "since our parents left us alone in other country"? ? ? as I understood that you +your brother(s)/sister(s) left your parents to live in another country.
"we need to stand alone which means we've to do everything ourselves"=
You and your brother(s)/sister(s) want to learn to take care of yourself.
The third paragraph, you tried to support your main idea
" disadvantages", so I thought you should wrote "when you're (I am) in other country (another country/other countries), you (I) will be forced to speak the country language."
The third paragraph, you compared between "advantage and disadvantage". Personally, I thought you should put it in your final thought.
Again, Score? I don't know how to score your essay, but your technical writing is good, especially, you know the structure of compound, complex, and coordination sentences, well.
Good luck,
Nam Thao  |