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Old 29-Apr-2004, 12:49
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Default Re: Use of Can in a Request is Positively Rude

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ian_AR
Hi all -

Following from the recent discussion on the politeness of may
in a request ('May' for permission, ...
http://UsingEnglish.Com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=1186 ).


I believe that, in most cases, use of the word can in a request, e.g.

Can I have a doughnut?

... as apposed to ...

May I have a doughnut?

... is positively rude, since it is inherently manipulative, due to
the fact that its more difficult to say no to the can variant.

- Best regards, Ian
I don't agree with that. There is no question that "may" questions are considered more polite than "can" questions. They does not make "can" questions rude, however. I would call them less polite in formal interactions. In informal interactions, "can" is widely used.
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