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Old 27-Mar-2008, 07:19
David L. David L. is online now
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Default Re: Please check my paragraph writing

Replace :Two important factors are the development of this application.
with
Two underlying factors led to the development of this application

What is your suggestion?

On second reading, I agree with you - I don't like 'important' in this sentence!
The reason I changed 'underlying': because of my particular professional training perhaps, this word suggests factors and reasons not readily apparent. For example, take a piece of behaviour like a man buying a red sports car. OK. So he bought a new car, and it happened to be red, and a sports car. But an underlying reason for his choice might be, he is starting to feeling old, that his youth is past, and that by buying a sporty car, he might still seem to people as 'young' and 'with it'.
From what you write, it was not really 'underlying factors' , but 'two main reasons why' it was developed.
Another suggestion then:

Two key factors prompted the development of this application.

If you prefer 'underlying', I doubt if most people would consider it an odd use in this context by any means.

A more timely method for delivering reports to University management is needed
I now gather that this software is to be sold to as many universities as possible, so we are not talking about one university. (I thought you might be writing a report to the management of the university where you work).
A more timely method for delivering reports to Management at universities is needed.
(the use of a capital letter for 'management' raises this from the ordinary use/meaning of the word, into more of a proper name. Compare:
'mathematics' versus 'Mathematics Department'

Last edited by David L. : 27-Mar-2008 at 07:33.
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