[dakochan]

hi, this is my first formal email, i'm not really confident about it. would u please check it for me?

the case:
i've paid my school fee and according to the college i'll received a notification letter. but it's been 3 weeks since i did that and i haven't got any mail from them.
here is the mail:

Dear Ms. Shierly,

I am Dakochan (student ID No:1234). I am writing to confirm that I have paid the International Student Semester Fee of $1234 Cdn. on March 14, 2008. I am looking forward to receive the Letter of Acceptance. I would be grateful if you could inform me whether you have received the payment or not and would you please kindly e-mail me when you have sent the Letter of Acceptance? So that I would know if there is a missed postal delivery.

Thank you for your attention.

Sincerely,
Dakochan