[Bassim]

Dear people.
Please, would you proofread this text

In Ingmar Bergman's films, the leading actors often behave as if they have a cramp. They are completely paralysed and unable to express their feelings. They fight within themselves and do not show much of their inner struggle to the rest of the world. Usually, they walk lonely and the only friend they have is nature and their own thoughts which give them nightmares. Whenever I saw his films I thought he had used very innovative style to convey a sense of loneliness and anxiety to the audience.

However, soon after spending some time here, I understood he did not invent anything new. He simply used a part of Swedish reality and skilfully mixed it with the other film methods to produce and communicate his message.
If one gets a chance to stay in this place for some months one will soon understand that the lack of communication between people is one of the main characteristics of this society.

If one meets an immigrant who has been living here for many years one will get a strange feeling that he talks so much and very fast. He would probably ask himself what has happened with him, not knowing that the poor stranger lives such an isolated life that he has no chance to speak with people in a natural way. The majority of the immigrants I know have never visited a Swedish home, and probably they would die without establishing friendship with a Swede. The Swedes are not kind of people who will hug you and tell you welcome without any preparation.

On those occasions when I visited a Swedish home I felt as if I had been making a state visit to a foreign country. Usually, my host would call me two weeks before and ask me what kind of food I absolutely cannot eat? Did I drink wine? White? Red? Did I drink beer? Coffee or tea? Did I drink water from the tap or bottled? Was I allergic to cats or dogs or both? Did I drink coffee with sugar and milk, with sugar but without milk or with milk but without sugar? I got completely confused and I did not know what I was saying any more and simply answered, "Yes! Yes! Yes! I drink and eat everything!" which of course left my host puzzled. He must have believed we in Bosnien eat human beings and probably warned his wife never to leave him with me alone.

So after a half an hour of questioning, they told you the time and you should absolutely come punctually, because as you are an immigrant, a delay of a minute of two could have been interpreted as one more proof that immigrants only bring problems to this beautiful country.
The meal could have been a little piece of fish and one or two boiled potatoes. And if the host asked you if you wanted more potatoes, as an immigrant one should always say, "No more for me, thank you, I am full up."
As I always returned from such meals hungry, I learnt that before I went to a Swedish home the best was to eat first in my own home and never have great expectations.

After the meal was eaten and the husband went to kitchen to wash dishes her wife and I would stay in the living room chatting and drinking coffee. Soon, one would understand that in Sweden male have female hormones and female males and that means it is very often women who have good self confidence while men act as their humble and obedient servants. When the man finished with dishes and the vacuum cleaning, he would join us and we would discuss usually about the war in Bosnia and how people can behave so barbarically.
If you want to make the best impressions on the Swedes, my advice is to criticize your own country as much as possible. You can say for example that food in your own country is terrible or men smell sweat; but you cannot criticise Sweden because almost all the Swedes believe this place is the best in the world. If you show any sign of criticism you risk next time when you visit your host, you will be served only one boiled potato. To be on the safe side try to give them some compliments like "The fish was wonderful!" The Swedes are usually shy people and your host is going to blush and answer," Actually, I bought it two days ago. It was 50% discounted."

When I came here I was naive like virgin who ended up in a brothel. Once, a Swedish man and his wife, or better to say his wife, because he had nothing to say, but obey her commands, invited me to lunch in their home.
They served me roasted reindeer which is the most expensive meat in Sweden. There was also an expensive French wine. I became suspicious. "What they wanted from me?" I read somewhere the Swedes are sexually outspoken people. This is one of the countries where sex with animals is not banned. (I have always thought that Swedish sheep behave strange!) "Are these people swingers?" I thought chewing pieces of a delicious meat. "Do they like group sex?"

Soon the man told me he wanted to show me his home around. We went from one room to another and I expected him finally to tell me the reason why he had invited me and had bought expensive meat.
We went into a big room which was under construction and he told me he needed a worker who would help him. I really did not want to help someone who had enough money to find a manual worker and pay him, but instead was so stingy he believed he could buy me with a piece of reindeer meat.

I told him I did not know anything about construction work and could not help him. But he did not want to accept my excuse and tried to persuade me telling me it was an easy job.
Some minutes late I left and never came back. I saw him many times and he always pretended he did not recognise me, probably cursing me and thinking of the money and the investment he made but which showed unwise.

To be continued...