[zarafee]

Sorry, here is the letter. Please correct .


I have to come to term with these unusual jumbled thoughts that suddenly strike me, although I turn
to manage to control and squeeze these unclear familiar voices to a lesser degree, but that is coming at a
heavy cost….I am battered to pieces… I feel a maniac urge to follow my within so to get relaxed
/ relief ?…. or is it ?!. I feel I m in need to obeying my within: " the non control state". It is quite
known to me, nevertheless it does remain dangerous as I turn to submit to my unconsciousness,
unaware of the surroundings.
I am tired and that is no wonder. What I am seeing is more then people could visualize, my mind is
stretched to such extent so to fit my within world, I m working non stop , I need to have a rest
somehow.
Im living another life or perhaps a new disoriented phase. My past living memories and toughts have
been crushed and badly beatten, the energy that had bounded me to my past world have
dissapaered and vinished, I can't beleive that i am a being with a vague empty silence past, my
relations with my homeland is much heavier then a robe that would snapped under starin. I am in a
constant suffering, crule pain is slamming my inside, i am about to crack ...BUT i am refusing to .