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Old 06-May-2008, 07:39
dtnick dtnick is offline
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Default Re: Is my para correct grammatically

Here's a suggestion (not a teacher):

Interior designers and architects by profession, the women at Elements not only strive to offer the best design and the finest, spacious cabinetry, but to serve your appliance needs as well. After all, designing beautiful kitchens that meet your needs is not our business, it’s our tradition. But, “seeing is believing,” isn’t it? So just give us a call.

Alternately, if you're trying to emphasize the fact that one is an interior designer and the other is an architect, try this:

"The women at Elements—one an interior designer by profession, the other an architect—not only strive to offer the best design and the finest, spacious cabinetry, but to serve your appliance needs as well. After all, designing beautiful kitchens that meet your needs is not our business, it’s our tradition. But, “seeing is believing,” isn’t it? So just give us a call."

Other suggestions:
Maybe "the women at Elements" instead?
Try "most-spacious cabinetry".
Instead of "is not our business," try "is not just our business".

It's late and I'm a little tired, but those are my ideas. Hope this helps! :)

Last edited by dtnick; 06-May-2008 at 08:07.
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new2grammar (07-May-2008)