Quote:
Originally Posted by Over the top  Hi RonBee
Thanks alot for your correction
I need your opinion about my story.
Is it silly one?
Don't compliment me to make me feel good about myself
please..  |
It needs a lot of rewriting. For example, "He walked close to me I heard his sweet voice through my ears" should be changed to something like "He walked close to me. His sweet voice was music to my ears".
(Note that the original is really two sentences.)