Thread: obsession~
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Old 04-Jul-2004, 18:51
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Default Re: obsession~

It's later. :wink:

Quote:
Originally Posted by tachi
At last I was left alone lingering along the line drew on the ground.
"At last" doesn't work there unless the person had been waiting to be left alone. Try:
  • I was left alone (or: by myself) lingering (or: standing) near the line drawn on the ground.

The reader will want more specific information. What line were "you" standing near? The foul line?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tachi
Over and over I contemplated about a shadow that was cast on this court.
The word "contemplate" is a transitive verb, and it takes a direct object. Try:
  • Over and over I contemplated a shadow that was cast on the court.

What can you use in place of "Over and over"?

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