[RonBee]

Originally Posted by tachi

I wanted to stop but my mind and body were apart.

I'm not sure what you mean. Do you mean that "you" had conflicted feelings? Better:

• I wanted to stop, but I couldn't.

Originally Posted by tachi

It’s coveting, craving, yarning for that face.

Try:

• I yearned for the sight of that face.

Or:

• I yearned for the sight of his face.

Originally Posted by tachi

Standing in front of his door should I knock or should I leave?

Try:

• Standing in front of his door, I wondered if I should knock or if I shoiuld leave.

Originally Posted by tachi

Will he likes me or will he not?

• Will he like me or will he not?

Originally Posted by tachi

Will he be happy to see me or will he think I’m weird?

That's good, but put a comma after me.

Originally Posted by tachi

Suddenly these questions stormed through my mind.

That's good except you should delete Suddenly. (What other words can you use instead of "stormed"?)

Originally Posted by tachi

But an approaching footstep limited my time to think.

Change approaching footstep to approaching footsteps. (What else will you have to change?)

Originally Posted by tachi

As it gets close and close I felt my body trembles a little.

Say I felt my body tremble. (What else will you have to change?)

:)