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Old 22-Aug-2004, 17:12
Tdol Tdol is offline
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Para one- move 'with a kitchen knife' to after 'bandit', otherwise it sounds as if the children hasd the knife. I would avoid 'bandit' here- I'd use 'man'as he hasn't stood trial yet.

Para 2- 'introducing himself'
l2- in the beginning
l6- went in
l7 - one was a 9-year-old.... an 11-year-old

PS- ironware doesn't really work- what did he use- a metal bar?
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