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Old 06-Dec-2004, 01:14
AintFoolin
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Default Re: Uncertain Future

". . . like to be, in the future?" - unnecessary comma

". . . in the newspaper, reporting . . ." - unnecessary comma

Then how come, we are still alive and not in jail? - is this dialog? if it is, it should be in quotes too

So that is the solution?, I asked him - probably needs quotes around the first phrase

"But I don’t want to leave my" - delete the 'But'

"I want to stay here and start changes when the time comes." - start changes is kind of . . . not the best

"I want to stay here and help reverse our country’s future!" - you can't reverse the future, that doesn't make any sense

i might combine the two sentences and say "I want to stay here and fight for my country's future."

"We cant even offer you a more decent education." - 'more decent' just doesn't work, either 'a decent education' or 'a better education'

". . . the latter seems brighter?" - either get rid of the question mark or put a question in your sentence

". . . precious minutes deciding over these . . . " - 'thinking about this'

" I knew deep in me, the answer all the while." - 'Deep inside me, I had known the answer all along' or 'I knew that the answer had been deep inside me all the while'
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