Well, I would suggest hard re-editing. If I were an admission officer I would immediately put your essay away because it is not attracting attention. I would suggest that wit the polishing and re-editing process you include some personal feeling and change the tone a bit. In tis way you will be absolutely sure that everything will be OK.
If you do not have any ideas what to include in your essay then use the services of an essay consulting company like
www.uni-essay.com,
www.accepted.om or
www.essayedge.com. They will polih your essay really quite good! Yes, you will have to spend some more money but Ithink that it worths being admitted into University and enojoy the best school for you possible just for about 100-200 bucks. Am I not right?
A good idea as well would be to give your admission officer to a friend that is working in the field of study you intend to undertake. Such people could feel what should be included! Just give it a try and you will see what a great result it will be!