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Originally Posted by refee After graduating from Zurich Business School and a three-year education programm with UBS, I started my studies at Zürcher Hochschule Winterthur. Due to a negative assesment result in 2005, I reconsidered my plan and I decided to go further on my professional development. I would like to take this step with **COMPANY**. |
Zurich or Zuerich?
Please start all over again.
Negative assessment - you start your cover letter saying you basically could not handle school.
I reconsidered my plan - it sounds like you are applying for a job but it is option 2/2
Further on my professional development - fluff, your potential employer wants to know what you can do for them.
I would like - you would like or you want?
You may think this is harsh - anything wishy washy moves to file 13 - out of sight. Try again! Sit in front of a mirror and talk like you are in an interview then write it out.