The context is like this:
The speaker is an advocate of gun control, yet she keeps a gun by her bed. But she doesn't carry the gun to her car. She says, "I should transport the gun from my residence to my vehicle, but I don't. What the gun is capable of, what it is intended for, still frightens me more than what it may prevent. If I carry my gun and I am attacked, I must use it to kill, not just injure."
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