View Single Post
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 15-Feb-2006, 05:03
Kenneth Kenneth is offline
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2004
Country: Kuching, Malaysia
Posts: 46
Current Location: KL
First Language: English
Member Type: Student or Learner
Thanks: 0
Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts
Kenneth
Default Re: Errors in this letter?

Hello tdol,

Thanks so much for your guidance!

Quote:
Originally Posted by tdol
Format:
my The Moonlight Restaurant premise- I'd say my restaurant, The Moonlihght Restaurant, (and delete 'premise)
For your information, my Ampang Jaya premise of The Moonlight Restaurant has been set up in and operating since December 2002.- FYI sounds too aggressive. Do you have more than one restaurant? If not, delete the first part. Delete 'set up and'
Concerning the letter, yes it has more than one restaurants, so should I delete 'premise'?

Quote:
Originally Posted by tdol
The business has been doing well for the past few years but has undergone a drastic slump ever since the construction work started this January.- shouldn't you have a coma in here?
I don't really understand what you meant. Did you mean it's supposed to be like this:

The business has been doing well for the past few years, but has undergone a drastic slump ever since the construction work started this January.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tdol
hygieneissue- spacing and I'd use the plural
hygiene issues.

Quote:
Originally Posted by tdol
beautification trees- wrong word
I can't think of a replacement for the words...

Quote:
Originally Posted by tdol
Hereby I sincerely appeal so- word order and one word needs to be deleted
Hereby I appeal so...
Reply With Quote