Re: suggestions for improvement short story Here, I edited it for you. One question, though; is the name of the place really Sunshine Hospital?
MIDNIGHT FALL
It was any ordinary Friday night – the crickets’ humming filled the dull grey summer sky, and flocks of sparrows flew impatiently towards their nests. However, something happened which shifted this night out of the ordinary. Something so fast and tragic that made it indescribable at first. Something this night forever changed me and the way I interpret life.
I was watching the ‘Simpsons’ when suddenly the phone rang. Once. Twice. Three times. Being lazy, I never bothered to answer the phone, so my mother ran out of the bathroom and picked it up. As I overheard my mother’s short replies, it was immediately obvious that something terrible had happened. But what on Earth could it be at this time of the night? One after another, questions piled up until my brain’s capacity could no longer cope with it.
“What happened, mum?" I asked her as she hung up the phone.
Silence.
“Mum? What’s wrong?”
“We’re going to see Grandpa,” the words tumbled out from the tip of her tongue as if there were no energy left.
Grandpa? What could possibly happen to Grandpa? At that very instant I arrived to the conclusion that he’d fallen down somewhere on the streets, considering how much he loved going to the city. Indeed he had fallen, however it wasn’t on the streets, but in his bathroom. As we drove to the Sunshine Hospital, I imagined the scene in my head; Grandpa slowly stepping out of the shower, his feet, still wet, coming in contact with the tiled flooring. He slipped. Legs outstretched flung in mid-air, body heading in a critical angle, spine heading down first on the hard ground and ‘BANG’ on impact! And what a painful and life-threatening impact it must have been, considering he is ninety or so. I rewind the scene backwards and forwards like a tape recorder set on ‘repeat scene’. Analysing and scrutinising every aspect and outcome possible; the worst – death, paralysation; tears slowly gathered into droplets and steadily dripped down my nose and onto my lips.
I can still picture the first memorable moment my grandpa and I had together. I had just arrived in Australia, being six or so, and Grandpa wanted to show me the city life. He would always praise me for my strong legs and keen ambition as we spent endless hours exploring the skyscrapers. However, it wasn’t because I adore the city life, it was my grandpa. I wanted to go everywhere he went, always close by his side.
I was soon dragged out of rememberance and into reality as red and blue light of the emergancy parking lot blinded me. It was time for my mother and I to support Grandpa in his time of need. As the doctor revealed his condition, I drowned in a vast sea of mixed emotions. Showing us the X-ray placed in front of the fluorescent light, he explained:
“He fractured his lower spine and . . .”
I started to feel weak and helpless. My shoulders slumped forward and head drooped down. Whilst waiting for him to finish his sentence, my hair stood on end. I took a deep breath, gathering as much air as possible and gathered myself together.
“ . . . currently he can not walk. He will need at least six weeks in intensive care, but gradually he will be able to walk again. There is nothing to worry about.”
I exhaled the longest breath in my life, along with the awful outcomes I’d imagined. The thought of losing my grandpa made me realise how fortunate and lucky I am to be here. From then onwards I have learnt to respect and appreciate my life and the people around me. Although things might seem bad, be happy with what you have, because things could definitely be worse. |