[rochachat]

Hi all

in my view this text is not organised, some sentences with no conjunctions makes the text has no flow (phrase to phrase, paragraph to paragraph), there is no conclusion or summary ... as the writer "summarise" abruptly... the writer use firs person to give his/her view which should be omitted as a written text.

plz give some help, what do you think about the writer's main difficulties?

how could be the writer's main problem?

how could he improve his/her written text (as an academic onte)?

thanks