correction of a few sentences 6

[vil]

Dear teachers,

Would you be kind enough to share with me your opinion concerning the feasibility of the following sentences?

The town issued an ordinance that all dogs should be muzzled.
He strove to keep his self-control.
What you are striving after?
You have to place a period at the end of a sentence.
You have to put a period at the end of a sentence.
We had a long spell of fine weather.
We have to take spells at the wheel with my partner.
He assumed the command of the guidance of the rocket flight.
The revelation that she had been in prison surprised everybody.
This was a visitation of God for the people’s sins.
She died by the visitation of God.
She has decided to let her hair grow.
Her fortune has grown.
You have grown since I saw you last.
This soil will not grow fruit trees.
The children grew out of their clothes.
I have money to burn.
My hands and forehead were burning.
The coffee is very hot, don’t burn your mouth.
Joan the Arc was burnt to death.
The incident burned itself into my memory.
I was very fond of her once.
I hope to go there once.

Thank you for your efforts.

Regards,

V.

[Tdol]

This was a visitation of God for the people’s sins.- I'd use a stronger word- wrath/retribution/punishment, etc
She died by the visitation of God. 'Died by' doesn't work here for me. I'd use something like the visitation.../it was the visitation... that killed her.
This soil will not grow fruit trees.- 'Fruit trees won't grow in this soil' is more natural to me.

[Tdol]

This was a visitation of God for the people’s sins.- I'd use a stronger word- wrath/retribution/punishment, etc
She died by the visitation of God. 'Died by' doesn't work here for me. I'd use something like the visitation.../it was the visitation... that killed her.
This soil will not grow fruit trees.- 'Fruit trees won't grow in this soil' is more natural to me.

[Tdol]

PS I'd use 'struggled' rather than 'strove'.

[konungursvia]

That's one of the things that puzzled me about Hong Kong English: rules there are riddled with "should be." I'd write "are to be muzzled" or "must be muzzled."

Otherwise, isn't it something like "I order you to consider my request!"

[RonBee]

The town issued an ordinance that all dogs should be muzzled.

I would say:
.

The town issued an ordinance requiring that all dogs be muzzzled.

The coffee is very hot, don’t burn your mouth.

You need a semicolon (or a period) instead of a comma there.

Joan the Arc was burnt to death.

I would say:
.

Joan of Arc was burned to death. (AmE)