Dialogue

[Flash]

Can you correct the dialogue, please?

-Hello! How are you?
-Fine, thanks. And you?
-Me too. Thanks.
-What have you been doing today?
-Well, I’ve done loads of things I planned to do today.
-Does it mean that you’ve finally bought the television we saw in “Dixons’ a few weeks ago?
-Yes, it does. I finally decided that it was worth the money.
-Great! Can I look in on you to take a look at it right now?
-I’m afraid not. My children are still asleep now and I don’t want us to wake them up.
-So when will I be able to call on you next time then?
-I could manage Saturday next, OK?
-OK.
-By the way, what do you think about going for a picnic at the end of the month?
-That’s a good idea! I think I’ll be free then and if you really want to go I’ll try to persuade Jane to join us.
-What about the children?
-They’re enjoying their holidays now.
-When do their holidays end?
-In about 3 weeks, so I won’t have any problem with them. Furthermore, they’ve wanted to go somewhere for over two months. They’ll definitely like your idea.
-It’s already 1.45! I must fly now. My lunch hour ends at 2 and Jack will do his nut if I’m late.
-Right, I’ll phone you one of these days to confirm if we’re coming. Catch you later! Bye!
-Bye!

Thanks a lot!

[Mister Micawber]

W- Hello.. Wilma?
A- Yes..
W- How are you? This is Alice.
A- Oh hi, Alice. Fine, thanks. And you?
W-Just fine.
A- Are you busy?
W- Well, I’ve done loads of things today.
A- Did you finally buy that television we saw in Dixons?
W- Yes. I finally decided it was worth the money.
A- Great! Can I come over and see it?
W- Not now! The kids are still asleep.
A- So when are you free?
W- How about Saturday?
A- OK.
W- By the way, what do you think about going for a picnic at the end of the month?
A- That’s a good idea! I think I’ll be free then. I’ll see if Jane can join us.
W- What about the children?
A- They’re on holidays now.
W- When do their holidays end?
A- In about 3 weeks, so they're no problem. Besides, they’ve wanted to go somewhere for over two months. They’ll definitely like your idea.
W- Oh! It’s already 1.45! I must fly. My lunch hour ends at 2 and Jack will do his nut [NEVER HEARD THIS IDIOM] if I’m late.
A- Right, I’ll phone you in the next couple of days to let you know if we’re coming.
W- Great. Bye!
A- Catch you later-- Bye!

[Flash]

Thanks a lot for polishing my dialogue up.

What about this one?
A. Hello! This is Ann. Can I speak to Bob, please?
B. Hold on, please. I’ll call him.
A. Hello, Tom here.
B. Hi, Tom, how are you keeping?
A. Very well indeed, thank you. And you?
B. I’m fine, too, thanks.
A. I haven’t heard from you for over a month! Not even one lousy phone call! What’s the matter with you? You know perfectly well that I’m desperately busy now and can’t phone you myself.
B. I’m really sorry for not phoning you for so long. I very much wanted to but always forgot. You could have sent a message to remind me to phone you. I believe you had some time on it, didn’t you?
A. ‘Course, I did! I thought you had a better memory.
B. Don’t keep on nagging!
A. You’re right. So what have you been up to since we last talked?
B. Frankly, I haven’t been doing anything unusual. Normal day-to-day routine.
A. Didn’t you go to Ireland? It seems to me you were going there.
B. Yes, I was but Jessica suddenly got ill, so we had to put our holiday off for some time. We’ll probably go somewhere next month. Can you advise us something? I remember you going to Spain last year. Did you like it there? You seemed to get back very happy then.
A. I wasn’t *very* happy! I was extremely happy with my trip to Spain. It’s a lovely place to go to on holiday. But there’s too much sun in Spain and as far as I remember your wife doesn’t bear sun, does she?
B. Doctors recommended that she would try to keep away from sunny and hot places on account of her frequent headaches the last time she went to hospital. (went to hospital – I think I’d better substitute it for some other word but for what?)
A. She might start going in for some sport – fitness, for one.
B. She doesn’t like such things. She likes skiing but there's no snow in England.
A. I’ve just come up with a good idea. I’m sure you’ll both like it. I remember going to Switzerland a few years ago. There are a huge number of ski resorts and no heat at all at this time of a year there. She’s gonna like it!
B. There’s one problem still to solve – we’ll need to find a travel agency offering such trips.
A. I’ll ask my colleagues about it. If I succeed in getting some information which might be useful for you I’ll let you know.
B. OK. I have to go. My secretary’s saying that there’s someone on another line for me. I’ll phone you the next copule of days. Bye-bye!
A. Bye-bye!

[Mister Micawber]

Good morning, Flash. The main difficulty with creating natural conversations is that we are creating them rather than transcribing them. Most textbook conversations therefore are too verbose and too grammatical-- they are written English, not spoken English. Written English is by its nature more formal than the spoken language, and it is the preconceived completeness and structural correctness of the dialogue that makes it seem contrived. On the the other hand, verbatim transcription of a real conversation is often muddied by 'uh's and 'erm's to the extent that it is difficult to follow. You must strive for a happy medium. In your current conversation, these close friends are being too formal; that is one focus of my changes:


A. Hi! This is Ann. Is Bob there?
B. Hold on. I’ll call him.
A. Hello.
B. Hi, Bob, how're you keeping?
A. Good, thanks. I haven’t heard from you in over a month! Not a lousy phone call!
B. I’m really sorry. I've wanted to but always forgot.
A. So what have you been up to?
B. Nothing unusual. Normal day-to-day routine.
A. Didn’t you go to Ireland? I thought you were going there.
B. Yes, I was, but Jessica suddenly got ill, so we had to put off our holiday. We’ll probably go somewhere next month. Where should we go? You went to Spain last year-- did you like it there? You seemed happy when you got back.
A. I wasn't 'very happy'-- I was extremely happy! It’s a lovely place. But it's very sunny in Spain. Your wife doesn’t like the sun, does she?
B. The doctor said she should try to keep out of the sun and heat, on account of her frequent headaches.
A. Has she tried any indoor sports -- like fitness?
B. Uh-uh, she doesn’t like stuff like that. She does like skiing, but there's no snow here!
A. Hey-- I went to Switzerland a few years ago: lots of ski resorts and no heat at all at this time of a year. She'd like that.
B. Do you know a travel agency that offers Swiss tours?
A. I'll ask around at the office. If I find out anything, I'll let you know.
B. Great, thanks. Oh, I have to go. There’s someone on another line. I’ll phone you back in the next couple of days. Take care. Bye.
A. You too. Bye.


The whole argument about who should phone whom is a bit rude and unnatural for these two friends, even in jest-- I took it out completely. Your original text does too much 'explaining'. These are close friends who are familiar with each other's lives, personalities and interests, and each speaks in short sentences and phrases from which the other can easily understand what is intended.

[Flash]

Thank you for making my dialogue more informal. I see that I should try to write more informal dialogues but I know that it's rather hard for a non-English to invent such dialogues because he doesn't usually know many informal words, expressions etc. In my view, you should live in an English-speaking country to know all these words. Reading books containing lots of informal dialogues are not great help to me, as they're usually very specific whereas I want to be able to write and express my own thoughts. You speak English everyday, so you remember all these phrases. I, in my turn, can't speak English every day since I don't have any native speakers to talk to here. Learning English on your own is always tough because you cannot sometimes understand why you should use only one particular structure or word but not any other. If I tried to write real conversations I would definitely do much worse since my speech (I mean in my first language) is full of very informal and sometimes, I have to admit, offensive words and expressions and it's very difficult to translate such stuff into English without being able to consult with a native speaker. What's more, in real life we very often make mistakes and don't even know that we do. I fully agree with you that most textbook conversations leave much to be desired partly because of the fact that their authors try to cram their textbooks with a large amount of grammar completely forgetting about the necessity of studying 'real language'. That's rather confusing, I guess

[Mister Micawber]

I think you did an admirable job in your two dialogues, Flash. My comments were not meant to criticize your efforts, but to give you pointers for further dialogue work.

Colloquial conversations in English too are often full of questionable language that can be used only among close friends; that of course we must exclude when mimicking authentic language for teaching purposes, as we must the many lexical or structural mistakes (actually, native speakers don't make so many grammatical mistakes) that are a part of real conversation.

You might try to create the effect of natural conversation by including the occasional stutter or internal revision, like:

A: Hey, Jack! Long sime no-- long time no see.
B: Geo--George! What a surprise!

A little bit of this goes a long way to making a dialogue seem more natural.

[Flash]

Thanks, I got it. I'll probably try to keep your advice in mind when writing some dialogue next time. I see that your comments were not meant to criticize my efforts.

[Flash]

NEVER HEARD THIS IDIOM

That's a British one. Seeing as you aren't English, you didn't understand it. BTW, do you know what it means? I'm fascinated to learn whether an American (or a Canadian?) can understand British idioms.
Here's another example of this idiom:
If I'm late home my Mum will do her nut!