#1  
Old 01-Apr-2005, 12:02
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Join Date: Mar 2005
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Default proofread dialog

Hi can someone proofread my dialog?
http://www.webpost.net/sh/Shaorin/zoo.txt

It is meant to be a radio talk
  #2  
Old 02-Apr-2005, 09:25
Editor, UsingEnglish.com
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 34,371
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Default Re: proofread dialog

Hello zoologist may i know your name?- This sounds strange. I wouldn't use someone's job as a way of addressing the, except for established ones like 'Doctor'. Also it should be 'I'

Lets visit the African Gray Parrot- Let's

It is probably the best talker over all birds because it is easily learning hundread of words and sounds.

probably the best talker of all birds because it easily learns hundreds ...

Looking to the right are the frogs area- is the frogs' area

Well they surely aren't visible to see- delete to see, or better say 'we can't see them'
Whoa the horses were first domesticated by people?- Whoa?????

Their yelling seems scary.- Lions roar, and I'd probably say 'is' not 'seems'

There are many commas missing- after 'now', 'yikes' etc.

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