English using

[vthanhtrung]

Is my English used in these paragraphs so simple? How to make it a little bit complex and sophisticated as in an analysis?

Thank you for any helping.

Manager is look like director of a big film. Every day, they work with many people, from the actors, actresses to the cameramen, technicians… Their job is so complex: supervising the actor’s actions, planning the schedule for other people, organizing the work flow, leading the film-making group…They also share the common purpose: how to make all of people work harmonic together to get the optimal output.
This analysis is concluded from two interviews the chief of executive officers from two different countries. One of them, working in developed country, is the CEO of job-seeking company. The other one, coming of Vietnam, is a CEO of book distributing system. From a recent research, by Grant Thornton LLP, Vietnamese businessman is rating at the third level of stress in the world. Although, they have very different background, administrate differrent industrial companies, both of their daily managerial works have many common points as described in management theory and studies from researchers.

[Gillnetter]

Originally Posted by vthanhtrung

Is my English used in these paragraphs so simple? How to make it a little bit complex and sophisticated as in an analysis?

Thank you for any helping.

A manager is look like a director of a big film. Every day, they work with many people, from the actors, to the actresses, to the cameramen and technicians. Their job is so complex: supervising the actor’s actions, planning the schedule for other people, organizing the work flow and leading the film-making group. They also share the a common purpose; how to make all of people work in harmonic harmony together to get the optimal output.

This analysis is concluded drawn from two interviews of the chief of executive officers from two different countries. One of them, working in a developed country, is the CEO of job-seeking company. The other one, coming of from Vietnam, is a CEO of a book distributing system. From a recent research, by Grant Thornton LLP, Vietnamese businessman is are rating rated at as having the third level highest level of stress in the world. Although they have very different backgrounds, administrate differrent administer different industrial companies, both of their daily managerial works have many common points as described in management theory and studies from researchers.

The first rule of good writing follows this law - KISS (keep it simple, silly). Do not think that because a piece of writing is complex it is good writing - it is merely complex writing. The best writers understand this rule and try to write so that their intended audience can easily read and understand what they have written.