#1  
Old 16-Jun-2005, 07:20
Newbie
 
Join Date: Apr 2005
Posts: 14
Exclamation Could you check this sentence?

This is a sentence excerpted from a highschool textbook in Korea.
I think there are some grammatical mistakes in this sentence and that it needs to be changed.

(Original)
The more people buy "rainforest beef", the more cattle are needed, and the more pastures are needed to feed the cattle.


(Correction): One alternative
The more "rainforest beef" people buy, the more cattle we need, and the more pastures we need to feed the cattle.


In the first place, it seems to me certain that the first subordinate clause in the original sentence is incorrect because more modifies rainforest beef and therfore it should be placed before rainforest beef.

But I'm not sure whether the main clause, the second and the third clause, is correct or not. In my opinion, the original sentence seems to be incorrect. I searched all the grammar books that I have, but I could not find any example like the second and the third, where the + comparative is used as a subject in the sentence. In the revised sentence, I chose we as a general subject but it sounds strange a little bit. In this case, I think it is better to change the whole sentence like this:

Another alternative: As people buy more rainforest beef, more cattle are needed and, as a result, more pastures as well.

What is your opinion, tdol? I really look forward to hearing your advice soon.

Last edited by critic72; 16-Jun-2005 at 07:49.
  #2  
Old 16-Jun-2005, 09:43
Editor, UsingEnglish.com
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 34,371
Home Country: UK
Native Language: British English
Current Location: Philippines
Member Type: English Teacher
Default Re: Could you check this sentence?

I wouldn't say that the first sentence is wrong- you certainly will hear native speakers using that structure. In the original 'more' modifies 'people', suggesting that it is growing in popularity rather than being consumed by the same peoplke in greater quantities.
  #3  
Old 16-Jun-2005, 09:45
Editor, UsingEnglish.com
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 34,371
Home Country: UK
Native Language: British English
Current Location: Philippines
Member Type: English Teacher
Default Re: Could you check this sentence?

PS the alternatives are fine. I'd probably use your 'correction' version first.
  #4  
Old 23-Jan-2006, 02:14
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3
Default Re: Could you check this sentence?

I am very sorry to ask you but +could you check this sentence for me?

The show was very magical, but I felt that it was very artificial.

I do not know if i used the word artificial right
  #5  
Old 23-Jan-2006, 02:18
Newbie
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 3
Default Re: Could you check this sentence?

is their any one their?
  #6  
Old 23-Jan-2006, 05:58
Editor, UsingEnglish.com
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 34,371
Home Country: UK
Native Language: British English
Current Location: Philippines
Member Type: English Teacher
Default Re: Could you check this sentence?

Yes, Mieka, you've used it correctly.
Closed Thread

Bookmarks

Tags
could, check, sentence


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
could you please check the sentence Unregistered Ask a Teacher 3 11-Oct-2006 02:09
sentence check Unregistered Ask a Teacher 3 23-Jan-2006 06:02
please check the sentence Unregistered Ask a Teacher 1 18-Apr-2005 02:51
check this sentence out gonghai Ask a Teacher 13 01-Jul-2004 09:10
check a sentence windcolor Ask a Teacher 4 18-Jul-2003 21:57


All times are GMT. The time now is 06:47.



Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO ©2011, Crawlability, Inc.