- 1 Post By Abstract Idea
I donīt know if this is the right forum to do it, but as itīs the first time, Iīll give it a try. Could anybody improve my lyrics?
And when the time has come at last
there will be no trace of past
the first drops of daylight will fall from the sky
and there will be no trace of lie
There will be no sorrow
over the world of tomorrow
no reasons to despair
just freedom in the air
freedom to be free
Weīll go on and on as far as the eye can see
And when the flame of fire gives up burning
weīll have the whole time to turn in
rest for the rest of our days
the ashes will leave no trace
Roses will bloom and grow
through our veins the scent will flow
beneath a shady tree
Weīll go on and on as far as a rainbow can take you and me
if we wipe off the tears
manage to overcome our fears
I wonder where the rainbow does begin
This time will come like a winter snow
and to the sea will the rivers flow
there will be no regret
no reasons to feel upset
no reasons to find a reason
Weīll go on and on as far as our mind can reach
Good job beachboy!
I would suggest you post it in the poetry, prose and songs forum.
Regarding the English I can't proofread it because our English levels are practically the same. As far as I see the English is perfect. Depending on the sonority I would suggest to use something like "I wonder where the rainbow could/would begin"
or "I do wonder where the ... " or "I wonder where the (adjective) rainbow begin".
But it is fine the way it is, this is just a suggestion.
Have you already written the music too? Will you post here?
I canīt post the music, at least not here (can I?). Anyway, yes, Iīve written the music too, I usually write the music first, and then I try to come up with the lyrics. And it really takes time, I think itīs like the pregnancy and the birth of a child. But itīs rewarding. Thanks for your support!
Yes, you can. In the "additional options" for a post it is possible to attach files.
Originally Posted by beachboy
Thanks a lot for your help, Gillnetter. I was very worried, among other things, about having to use trace in the plural, because it wouldnīt rhyme!
By ronchanique in forum Ask a Teacher
Last Post: 07-Jan-2010, 23:52
By serenityprayer in forum Editing & Writing Topics
Last Post: 10-Dec-2009, 15:02
By XINLAI-UE in forum Ask a Teacher
Last Post: 04-Nov-2008, 16:20
By jkl in forum Ask a Teacher
Last Post: 07-Mar-2008, 01:23
By Anonymous in forum Ask a Teacher
Last Post: 21-Feb-2003, 18:05
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO