How to write the letter?

[mir12480]

Hi

Dear all teachers and students

I want to send a text to someone and want him to give me his opinions about it.

How should I write the letter?(think must be formal letter)

[Mister Micawber]

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Please try to write a draft letter here, and then we will help you improve it if necessary.

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[mir12480]

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Please try to write a draft letter here, and then we will help you improve it if necessary.

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Dear Dr. x

Firstly I must demonstrate that I'm really proud to be a member of ' x' translating team. So it would be greatly appreciated if you could tell me your opinions about my previous tries and specially the one I sent you.
The text I g-mailed you is the translation of ' Process Analysis', chapter twenty of the book ' Methods, Tools and Techniques' I imagine.

Waiting to know your points of view
Mehdi Mirzaei

This is my Gmail: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead

[Mister Micawber]

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Dear Dr. x:

I am very proud to be a member of 'x' translating team. I would be very grateful if you could take the time to give me your opinion and any advice on my previous attempts, especially the one I recently sent you. The text I g-mailed is the translation of 'Process Analysis' (Chapter 20 of the book, Methods, Tools and Techniques).

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours,

Mehdi Mirzaei
Email: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead

.

[mir12480]

.
Dear Dr. x:

I am very proud to be a member of 'x' translating team. I would be very grateful if you could take the time to give me your opinion and any advice on my previous attempts, especially the one I recently sent you. The text I g-mailed is the translation of 'Process Analysis' (Chapter 20 of the book, Methods, Tools and Techniques).

Thank you very much for your time and consideration.

Sincerely yours,

Mehdi Mirzaei
Email: EMAIL REMOVED - Send PM to This User Instead

.

Thank you Mister Micawber for correcting my draft.
I never thought it may have so many mistakes.