Are they a bit awkward or not ?

[hookeba]

I'm a Vietnamese student, so I'm not sure if these expressions seem natural or weird. Would you please check them for me ? I would be very grateful!

"a distinct, respected, well-paid profession" --> "distinct" ?

"to crave knowledge" --> Is "crave" OK ?

"a well-known fashion called career preparation" --> "fashion" ? Or "concept" or "trend" ?

"to harvest knowledge" --> Is "harvest" OK ?

"can't oversee the factor that..." --> would "overlook" be better ?

"progress has been by leaps and bounds" --> does it sound OK ?

"It’ll be a complete loss if not mention sth" --> "if not mention" ?

"the new sense of freedom and independence a young man can experience or thinks he will is thought of as sth of great importance" --> can't understand it! Need clarifying!

[Spiral]

Originally Posted by hookeba

"a distinct, respected, well-paid profession" --> "distinct" ?

I would leave out distinct because it doesn't really add anything. As a rule, it's always better to use one really descriptive adjective than to use three "average" ones.

"to crave knowledge" --> Is "crave" OK ?

This is fine. It's a good verb that clearly gets your point across.

"a well-known fashion called career preparation" --> "fashion" ? Or "concept" or "trend" ?

I wouldn't use fashion because I think it's used more for clothing. Trend would be better.

"to harvest knowledge" --> Is "harvest" OK ?

Hmmm...I don't really like this, but that's just my opinion. Can you think of another verb that will communicate your point more clearly?

"can't oversee the factor that..." --> would "overlook" be better ?

Yes, overlook would be better. Oversee has more to do with supervision, such as what a construction foreman does with his employees.

"progress has been by leaps and bounds" --> does it sound OK ?

Leaps and bounds is a bit hackneyed. I'd say something like, "Progress has been impressive."

"It’ll be a complete loss if not mention sth" --> "if not mention" ?

If not mention is awkward. Try "if I didn't mention..." or "if I failed to mention..."

"the new sense of freedom and independence a young man can experience or thinks he will is thought of as sth of great importance" --> can't understand it! Need clarifying!

I would punctuate this sentence as follows: "The new sense of freedom a young man can experience--or thinks he will--is thought of as something of great importance." You could also use commas in place of the dashes. I think this sentence could be worded a little better. All this is saying is that young men think personal freedom is important.

[hookeba]

Thanks a lot! Now I'm able to improve my writing a little.

You're very KIND, indeed!