Do you find this script weird?++

[minemo]

Hi,

I try to translate my native language to English and I feel the message myself write is weird.

BACKGROUND: This is speaking script for automatic system. I wanna explain what is mobile number portability service and it is a service that regulate by some organization. First, they only support Individual customer. Corporate is not yet support. We don't know when it would. We will announce later.

MY SCRIPT:
"Mobile Number Portability known as MNP is the service enabling for customers to retain their mobile numbers when changing from one sevice provider to another according to the org name’s regulation. For now, MNP service is provided for individual customers only. However, We will announce later when MNP service is ready for corporate customers."

What do you think? I feel that It's not a nice script yet.

Any suggestion? Thanks in advance.

[Khosro]

Hi,

I try to translate my native language to English and I feel the message myself write is weird.

BACKGROUND: This is speaking script for automatic system. I wanna explain what is mobile number portability service and it is a service that regulate by some organization. First, they only support Individual customer. Corporate is not yet support. We don't know when it would. We will announce later.

MY SCRIPT:
"Mobile Number Portability, known as MNP, is the (a) service enabling for customers to retain their mobile numbers when changing from one sevice provider (mobile network operator) to another, according to the org name’s regulation. For now (currently), MNP service is provided for individual customers only. However, We (we) will announce later when MNP service is ready for corporate customers." (when it will be available to corporate customers.)

What do you think? I feel that It's not a nice script yet.

Any suggestion? Thanks in advance.

It's not a bad script.

I wonder if "enabling for" is correct. I'd say "enabling".
I think that "under org name's regulation" is better than "according to ..."
I can't think of any substitute for "announce later", but I suggest that you add some more specific time to it, for example: "We will announce later this week" or "we will announce later this month" or "this year".

[Khosro]

Hi,

I try to translate (something from) my native language to English and I feel the message (notice, advertisement) myself write I myself wrote is weird. (I don't think "weird" is good here)

BACKGROUND: This is speaking script for automatic system.("This is a public speaking script for an automatic communication system" I don't know what "public speaking script" is, I guess it is something like an "advertisement") I wanna want to explain what is mobile number portability service is. it is a service that regulated by some organization. First, they only support Individual customer. Corporate is (corporate ones are) not yet supported. We don't know when it would. We will announce later.

Khosro

[minemo]

Wow, I'm impressed for the quick response. It's very helpful. ^^

Thanks a million Khosro. You help me a lot.

[Khosro]

Thank you. I also got some help from a wikipedia article. I suggest that you check words and phrases like notice, advertisement, and "public speaking script".

[5jj]

BACKGROUND: This is speaking script for automatic system.("This is a public speaking script for an automatic communication system" I don't know what "public speaking script" is, I guess it is something like an "advertisement") I wanna want to explain what is mobile number portability service is. it is a service that is regulated by some organizations. First, they only support Iindividual customers. Corporate is Corporate ones are not yet supported. We don't know when it wouldthey will be. We will announce this later.