How to express this felling

[sdire]

I desire to get two completely different things at the same time. This feling is more stong than hestate. I think hestate is too weak, I need a expression more powerful.

[Gillnetter]

I desire to get two completely different things at the same time. This feling feeling is more stong strong than hestate hesitate. I think hestate hesitate is too weak, I need a expression more powerful.

The word is spelled "feeling". To "hesitate" is to wait. I would say, "I want two completely different things at the same time."

[Barb_D]

It's not uncommon where I've lived for people to say "I'm torn" in a situation like that.

I'm torn. On the one hand, I want to... but on the other, I've always wanted to...

I'm of two minds about what to do next. Should I..., or should I ...

[SoothingDave]

Ambivalent | Define Ambivalent at Dictionary.com

"Ambivalence" is when you have two conflicting desires at the same time.