The crucial moment

[motico]

Please, check if the following passage is grammatically correct. Thanks!


The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech, with honorably climbing down and withdrawing his uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck and thus, preserve his leadership, or will he deliver such a disastrous speech that will lead to the end of his leadership and perhaps, temporarily – to the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence – beginning with riots up to terrorism, the same as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, for the better or the worst, in his speech today.

[5jj]

The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech, with honorably climbing down and withdrawing his uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck and thus, preserve his leadership, or will he deliver such a disastrous speech that will lead to the end of his leadership and perhaps, temporarily – to the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence – beginning with riots up to terrorism, the same as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, for the better or the worst, in his speech today.

It's rambling, messy, and the underlined wordsand punctuation marks are not the finest English I have seen. However, it is no worse than a lot of the stuff we see in newspapers or hear on the radio and television these days.

[motico]

It's rambling, messy, and the underlined wordsand punctuation marks are not the finest English I have seen. However, it is no worse than a lot of the stuff we see in newspapers or hear on the radio and television these days.

I hope this version will be more to your taste…

The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech and will be wise enough to honorably climb down and withdraw his uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck, and thus preserve his leadership, or will he deliver such a disastrous speech that will pave the way for the end of his leadership and perhaps, temporarily – for the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence – beginning with riots which might, in turn, develop into terrorism in the same pattern as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, whatever the consequences, in his speech today.

[5jj]

Oops - I hadn't realised that you had written it, or I would have been a litle more tactful in my criticism. I assumed that you had taken it from a newspaper.

I hope this version will be more to your taste…

The only option left is to wait and see whether Mr. Clark will show flexibility in his speech, and will be wise enough to honorably climb down honorably and withdraw his the uncompromising positions to which he has recently stuck, and thus preserve his leadership,. or w Will he, on the other hand, deliver such a disastrous speech that it will pave the way for the end of his leadership and (perhaps temporarily) – for the end of the negotiations to which he has been committed for the last few years. As a result, the frustration of his people might escalate into violence – beginning with riots which might, in turn, develop into terrorism in the same pattern as over a decade ago. This is, therefore, the crucial moment for Mr. Clark and his people, and he is going to fire the opening shot for what will happen, whatever the consequences, in his speech today.

I don't like the word 'positions'. What do you mean by it exactly?

[motico]

Oops - I hadn't realised that you had written it, or I would have been a litle more tactful in my criticism. I assumed that you had taken it from a newspaper.I don't like the word 'positions'. What do you mean by it exactly?

Opinions, stances.

[5jj]

Opinions, stances.

It's probably OK then, though I don't like it personallly.