as if to

[rainous]

The clouds were hanging low as if to weigh on my heart.


Hi,

I want to know how the above sentence scans for natives and if there is any way to make it sound better. I am not sure if "as if to" is a legitimate expression.

Thanks

[SlickVic9000]

*Not a Teacher*

Sounds fine to me. I might suggest using "hung" instead of "were hanging".

"The clouds hung low as if to weigh upon my heart."

[BobK]

The clouds were hanging low as if to weigh on my heart.


Hi,

I want to know how the above sentence scans for natives and if there is any way to make it sound better. I am not sure if "as if to" is a legitimate expression.

Thanks

It's fine. (Perhaps it's a Br Eng thing that 'were hanging' sounds fine to me.) 'As if to' is fine too. And allow me to congratulate you on your avoidance of a one-word 'anyway' - which would've been wrong!

As an aside, you might be amused to know that this presumed link between the weather and one's feelings is called 'the pathetic fallacy'. (That use of 'pathetic' has nothing to do with the common sense 'pitiful', but means 'to do with feelings'.)

b

[rainous]

It's fine. (Perhaps it's a Br Eng thing that 'were hanging' sounds fine to me.) 'As if to' is fine too. And allow me to congratulate you on your avoidance of a one-word 'anyway' - which would've been wrong!

As an aside, you might be amused to know that this presumed link between the weather and one's feelings is called 'the pathetic fallacy'. (That use of 'pathetic' has nothing to do with the common sense 'pitiful', but means 'to do with feelings'.)

b

Word of the Day *- Pathetic Fallacy

I guess that's what "Pathetic Fallacy" does to people, making people mellow, emotional, and extra kind in explaining grammar to some dude from Armenia who speaks Galician and lives in Antilles.

Thanks much.

Stumbling towards accuracy...just like Cain...