Is this sentence correct ?

[duiter]

Dear all,

Is this sentence correct ?

In general, television was voted as providing the best experience while the majority of 13-to-17 year olds wacthed television and the minority of them read a comic book



Many thanks

[billmcd]

Dear all,

Is this sentence correct ?

In general, television was voted as providing the best experience while the majority of 13-to-17 year olds wacthed television and the minority of them read a comic book



Many thanks

It's OK but I would prefer "..........with the majority of 13-17 year-olds who watch television and the minority who read (present tense) a comic book".