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1 Post By emsr2d2
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Please need short story correction
Hi Teachers,
Could you correct this story that I rewrote please? Is there a way to include the words 'bride' and 'groom' in this story? If there is, I'll appreciate very much if you could use those words inside the story.
Tom and Susan got married yesterday morning. They had a wedding party yesterday afternoon with a lot of friends. Susan’s parents were there and so were Tom’s. Almost everybody drank champagne, ate cake, and had a good time. Only Tom’s mother did not eat or drink very much because she became very emotional at the wedding party. Susan’s father made a terrific speech.
Thanks in advance
Last edited by learning54; 28-Dec-2011 at 17:02.
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Re: Please need short story correction

Originally Posted by
learning54
Hi Teachers,
Could you correct this story that I rewrote please? Is there a way to include the words 'bride' and 'groom' in this story? If there is, I'll appreciate very much if you could use those words inside the story.
Tom and Susan got married yesterday morning. They had the (or their) wedding party reception yesterday afternoon with a lot lots of friends. Susan’s parents were there and so were Tom’s. The bride's and the groom's parents were there. Almost everybody drank champagne, ate cake, and had a good time. Only Tom’s mother did not eat or drink very much because she became very emotional at the wedding party reception. Susan’s father made gave a terrific speech.
Thanks in advance
See above for my suggestions.
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Re: Please need short story correction

Originally Posted by
emsr2d2
See above for my suggestions.
Hi,
Thank you so much for your time and correction! It is terrific.
Best,
Learning
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Re: Please need short story correction

Originally Posted by
Gillnetter
You could use "bride" and "groom" everyplace where both Tom and Susan were mentioned.
Hi,
Thank you so much for your time and correction too. It is great!
Best,
Learning
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