my composition

This is a composition in an exam. :? The directions asked us to write a composition with the title of "Don't Hesitate to Say 'No'", and divided into three paragraph. First paragraph with the meaning of when someone call for help under what situation we can so "No" . Second with the meaning of why someone won't say no when they should say that? Third with the meaning of the bad effects of didn't say "No" .
I write this composition. Please correct it for me and give me some advices. :) Thanks a million! :)

Don't Hesitate to Say "No"
When someone ask us for help, under what situation we can say "No"? I think the decision depends on the way to help. If you help someone but do harm to another simultaneously, please don't hesitate to say "No".
Why their are always someone who wouldn't say "No" when they should say that? In my opinion, their are two situations. Firstly, one who afraid to say "No". With the fear that the friendship between one and his friend would be destroyed. We naturally told ourselves not to say "No". Secondly, one who say "Yes" to no matter who call for help never concerned about the help itself. He may never concerned if the help would do harm to another. Consequently, he helped one but harmed another.
If one didn't say "No" when he should say that, he won't do a thing what he expect of. He may want to maintain the friendship, but the friend leave him for he is a man without the idea of himself. He may want to help someone, but another may hate him. So, please don't hesitate to say "No".

[RonBee]

These are tough, so please be patient. :wink:

Don't Hesitate to Say "No"

That is good. :D

When someone ask us for help, under what situation we can say "No"?

You need to make some changes there. First, it should be asks. Second, I think should would be better than can. Thus it would be:

• When someone asks us for help, under what situations should we say "No"?

I think the decision depends on the way to help. If you help someone but do harm to another simultaneously, please don't hesitate to say "No".

That's good, but I think it could be more clear. Perhaps:

• I think the decision depends on the situation. If by helping someone you do harm to someone else you should not hesitate to say no.

(Using quotes is fine if you can't make italics or even if you can.)

:D

[RonBee]

Why their are always someone who wouldn't say "No" when they should say that? In my opinion, their are two situations.

• Why is there always someone who won't say no when they should? In my opinion, there are two reasons for that.

:D

Many thanks,Ron!
I think I can catch on what you said and that seems important to me.
But why you only correct the fount two sentences for me ? :(
I swear that I will be patient.(It is hard for me to find someone who could correct my composition.) So I always careful and excited at your correctings.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by o_cat

Many thanks,Ron!
I think I can catch on what you said and that seems important to me.
But why you only correct the fount two sentences for me ? :(
I swear that I will be patient.(It is hard for me to find someone who could correct my composition.) So I always careful and excited at your correctings.

I'll get to it. I promise there will be more soon.

:D

[RonBee]

Firstly, one who afraid to say "No". With the fear that the friendship between one and his friend would be destroyed.

Are you trying to say it is your friend who is in trouble? Are you saying that if it is your friend who is in trouble it would be hard not to help him?

We naturally told ourselves not to say "No".

Are you talking about that "inner voice" that tells you you should help people?

Secondly, one who say "Yes" to no matter who call for help never concerned about the help itself.

I am a little unclear about what you are trying to say there. :(

He may never concerned if the help would do harm to another.

Are you saying that a person might act impulsively and not consider the consequences in such a situation?

Consequently, he helped one but harmed another.
If one didn't say "No" when he should say that, he won't do a thing what he expect of. He may want to maintain the friendship, but the friend leave him for he is a man without the idea of himself. He may want to help someone, but another may hate him. So, please don't hesitate to say "No".

If one doesn't say no when he should he will only make things worse? :?

:?

Quote:
Firstly, one who afraid to say "No". With the fear that the friendship between one and his friend would be destroyed.

Are you trying to say it is your friend who is in trouble? Are you saying that if it is your friend who is in trouble it would be hard not to help him? Quote:
We naturally told ourselves not to say "No".


Are you talking about that "inner voice" that tells you you should help people?

yup,just that meaning. :)

Secondly, one who say "Yes" to no matter who call for help never concerned about the help itself.

I think I have some grammar errors in this setence.
what I mean is :A person who used to say "Yes" didn't think about whether the matter is right or wrong.

Quote:
He may never concerned if the help would do harm to another.

Are you saying that a person might act impulsively and not consider the consequences in such a situation?

yup. :)

Quote:
Consequently, he helped one but harmed another.
If one didn't say "No" when he should say that, he won't do a thing what he expect of. He may want to maintain the friendship, but the friend leave him for he is a man without the idea of himself. He may want to help someone, but another may hate him. So, please don't hesitate to say "No".

If one doesn't say no when he should he will only make things worse?

I think I can write a good composition with my own opinions in Chinese in this subject. But in an English Examination in China, the teacher only want you to write something that is enclose to the directions. If you say more than that, you'll get a low grantds on the contrary.:? :(
So, please forgive me can't say more about that.

[RonBee]

You said:

• Consequently, he helped one but harmed another.
  If one didn't say "No" when he should say that, he won't do a thing what he expect of. He may want to maintain the friendship, but the friend leave him for he is a man without the idea of himself. He may want to help someone, but another may hate him. So, please don't hesitate to say "No".

I said:

• If one doesn't say no when he should he will only make things worse?

That was my interpretation of the paragraph as a whole. I put that in the form of a question as a way of asking you if you thought that interpretation was accurate. I would interpret the first sentence as: "By helping one person he harmed another." (I am not clear on how that would be.) The rest of it I am having trouble understanding. Perhaps you could post it again using different words. Perhaps you could describe a scenario that explains your idea. In other words, describe a real life situation in which you might be faced with the choices you describe.

:)

You said:

If one doesn't say no when he should he will only make things worse?

In my composition,I support this idea. However that is not my idea but the exam require us to write about.

If one didn't say "No" when he should say that, he won't do a thing what he expect of. He may want to maintain the friendship, but the friend leave him for he is a man without the idea of himself. He may want to help someone, but another may hate him. So, please don't hesitate to say "No".

What I mean is:If one hesitate to say "No" when he should do that. He'll face some trouble in the futher.For instance, although you helped your friend, maintain the friedship.But simultaneously, you caused hateness of another man. Obviously, this is not what you expect of. So please don't hesitate to say "No" when you should do that.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by o_cat

You said:

In my composition,I support this idea. However that is not my idea but the exam require us to write about.

What I mean is:If one hesitate to say "No" when he should do that. He'll face some trouble in the futher.For instance, although you helped your friend, maintain the friedship.But simultaneously, you caused hateness of another man. Obviously, this is not what you expect of. So please don't hesitate to say "No" when you should do that.

Let's look at that first sentence.

• If one didn't say "No" when he should say that, he won't do a thing what he expect of.

It is hard for me to figure out what you are trying to say there. That is why I asked you to give me an example (scenario). Perhaps you mean that there are times when a person might ask you for your help, but it would not always be good to give that help. That is because people should learn to do things for themselves and not depend on others too much. Perhaps you will lose a friend by turning somebody down when he asks for help, but maybe such a friend is not worth having.

I am not sure that is what you are trying to say. In any case, that one is not an English sentence.

:?