- 1 Post By namloan
- 1 Post By TheParser
- 1 Post By BobSmith
- 1 Post By Rover_KE
- 1 Post By TheParser
- 2 Post By emsr2d2
"Some days ago Kathy discovered that her husband had been having gay affair with another man. After some times of dissuading but without good results, Kathy pushed her husband down from the fifth floor"
+ Are these sentences natural-sounding?
Thank you so much
***** NOT A TEACHER *****
(1) I know that you want an honest opinion, so I most respectfully and gently suggest that your two sentences do not sound too
natural -- in my opinion, that is. In other words, if a native speaker were to read those two lines, s/he would immediately realize that
a non-native speaker had written them.
(2) I am no writer (!), but I suggest something like:
A few days ago, Kathy discovered that her husband had been having a gay affair. Failing to persuade her husband to end the
relationship, she pushed him down the stairs on the fifth floor.
"stairs on the fifth floor" sounds odd to me, as stairs are not on floors, but rather between them. I would opt for
"down the fifth floor stairs"
I know, it still doesn't sound like the stairs are between the floors. I think it's a personal thing here
I like Bob's 'down the fifth floor stairs.'
Also 'She pushed him down the stairs from the fifth floor.'
Actually, that's not as far as it sounds. His falling body would stop at the fourth floor landing.
[QUOTE'She pushed him down the stairs from the fifth floor.'
EXCELLENT advice from an excellent teacher.
Please see my suggested version above. You don't need to say "a gay affair with another man". For a start, you've said "her husband" so we know he is a man. If you're a man "A gay affair" could only be with a man. You don't need to say "another man" anyway - that sounds like Kathy is a man! You could use:
Originally Posted by namloan
She discovered her husband was having a gay affair.
She discovered her husband was having an affair with a man.
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