Pls give me some suggestions about this essay.

[RonBee]

Could i use "provided and in the event of " more ? That can prolong my essay.

I wouldn't use those expressions more than you are already. That would clutter up your composition with words that don't really say much. It would add more words; that is true.

:wink:

Sir, see this question,pls.

people(who're) involved, people (who're) concerned ======= related people?

I don't know when i can eliminate (who're) in my essays.

Eg: There is a beautiful girl (who is) flirted by someone. Or ......girl (who is) regareded as a hot chick.

They are just what i take for example. I'm always not sure how to eliminate (who, which, what, etc. as well as (is, are, be))

And there is another question:

eg. Female smokers saw the opposite trend. They increased from 16% in 1960 to 24% in 2000.

Can I change it to " .......trend, who increased .....?

Sometimes I'm at a lost about such organization of sentences, because I don't know their differences except one sentence or two sentences.

Pls tell me know. Thank you.

[RonBee]

Originally Posted by eric2004

Sir, see this question,pls.

people(who're) involved, people (who're) concerned ======= related people?

I don't know when i can eliminate (who're) in my essays.

If you are involved you are involved with something or involved in something. If you are concerned you are concerned with something or concerned about something. Also, neither of them mean related people.

Additionally, in a sentence, you usually wouldn't need who are. Example: "Some of the people involved in the transaction are lawyers."

Originally Posted by eric2004

Eg: There is a beautiful girl (who is) flirted by someone. Or ......girl (who is) regareded as a hot chick.

The phrase "flirted by someone" is not possible. You can say, "There is a beautiful girl who has flirted with someone," but more likely is, "There is a beautiful girl who likes to flirt with people."

A girl who is regarded as a hot chick is somebody people would like to meet. :wink:

Originally Posted by eric2004

They are just what i take for example. I'm always not sure how to eliminate (who, which, what, etc. as well as (is, are, be))

Absent context, there is no reason to say you should eliminate those words.

Originally Posted by eric2004

And there is another question:

eg. Female smokers saw the opposite trend. They increased from 16% in 1960 to 24% in 2000.

Can I change it to " .......trend, who increased .....?

Sometimes I'm at a lost about such organization of sentences, because I don't know their differences except one sentence or two sentences.

Say: Their numbers increased.

:)

Sir, that means I can change it to " whose (numbers) increased?

"They increased... " is not right? But it was from a sentence of native person, while I don't know his expression skills at times.

Thank you, dear teacher.

[RonBee]

People can't increase. They can grow, but they can't increase. :)

Yes, you can use "whose numbers increased....", but, of course, whether it is grammatical or not depends on how it is used in the sentence.

You are always welcome.

:D

Oh, get it.

Sir, new question.

But even having the most number of non-residents’ applications, America only have 1.5M resident applications.


While the whole trend of patent application has been rising, there is still a difference in the number of patents in different countries.


At last, can I say " the application increased to 25m."?

I'm not sure about these sentences. And I feel its strcture is weird. How can I make it better?

You are always nice, Sir.

[RonBee]

But even having the most number of non-residents’ applications, America only have 1.5M resident applications.

Say:

• But even though it has the most non-resident applications, America has only 1.5M resident applications.

That seems like a lot to me. :wink:

While the whole trend of patent application has been rising, there is still a difference in the number of patents in different countries.

Say:

• While the number of patent applications has been on the increase, there is still a difference in the number of patents being issued in different countries.

I am not sure I understand the point behind that statement. It seems to suggest that we should expect different countries to issue the same number of patents. There are a number of reasons that is unrealistic, one obvious one being that different countries are of different sizes.

At last, can I say " the application increased to 25m."?

Say: the number of applications increased.

You are always nice, Sir.

Thank you. :D

Thank you, dear teacher.

They are just some essays of graphic description.

No some arguments there. Xixi.


I think it is difficult to be depicted too well.